Not MY problem!!

I don't know how many people will relate to this but I don't have anyone to talk to about it and the longer I stew, the more I want to scream.
For some context, I come from an immigrant family with really strict and conservative ideals which meant I literally did nothing my entire life. Dated no one, made like one long term friend in the last twenty years, and have absolutely no permission to do anything (think walks by yourself, errands, even chatting with coworkers is a red flag!) so I am extremely sheltered and visibly frustrated at 27
My sister, 32, has been raised the exact same way but as the older child, has been given a few more freedoms and a little bit more liberty to do some stuff on her own. She's never really taken advantage of it so my parents were fine. She's decided to break out of our "chains" recently, and rebels against our parents constantly. She's technically not doing anything inappropriate or bad, since it's stuff like going out with friends/colleagues, eating out more often, wanting to leave the house for anything and everything but her behavior is akin to a tween hitting their first teen rebellion. She snaps at everything, blasts music in her room, ignores with oversized headphones. As someone who has gone through all the same shit, I get it but I am going to flip my lid because for some reason every single thing she does is taken out on me.
I haven't had one normal conversation with either my parents nor my sister in years because all either party wants to do is complain about everything the other party did as though I am the brains behind the operations endorsing it. My mother has this very specific accusatory tone she uses when she's upset with something that's happening and she thinks you're responsible. EVERYTHING. Every goddamn thing that my sister does is always circling back to me. Every idiotic thing a family member says is tied back to me. The more I try to diffuse the situation the more insistent it gets and the more aggressive it feels and I want to literally throw myself off a bridge or get flattened by a bus so I don't have to talk to anyone ever again.
I feel like I don't get a say in anything. Not in how I want to live, not in what I want to eat, want to go, nothing. I just want to cry all the time and I'm so frustrated and no fucking understands why I'm so frustrated when they are they fucking root of the problem. I want to escape so fucking bad but with how fucking sheltered I've been for my entire life, I feel like I'm unable to stand up and fight for my right to be happy. I'm so miserable and somehow all everyone sees is all the problems that were probably my fault for existing at the same time.

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anonymous Home October 18, 2025 at 12:54 am 0 0