social anxiety is my worst enemy

im an upcoming sophomore in high school and i struggle with social anxiety, and it has gotten in the way of how well i do in school. im too scared to speak up and ask my teachers questions, and i fail to participate in my French class (participation is like 10% or 20%? of my grade). i was able to get a B- for both semesters in French, but I feel like it could've been possible to get a B+ or even maybe an A- if i just participated and was able to find good group members to work with. it's so hard for me to find people to group up with since im too scared to talk and make friends in my classes. last year, in all of my six classes i can't consider any of my classmates to be my friends, it was so hard for me because i basically only had one friend and we didn't even share any classes together or hang out much. everyday i dreaded going to school knowing that i had to sit alone while waiting for school to start, at break, and during lunch, and bring stressed about having to do group work or moving seats. the reason im so scared to talk to people and make friends is because im scared people think that im the weird quiet kid. im really stressed for the next school year to start since im going to have to take french 2 and it's highly likely many of my classmates are gonna be the same as last years since there will only be two french 2 periods, and i feel like i already gave them the impression that im weird and ive just ruined my chances of befriending any of them. i also haven't done any club activities or volunteering yet and i feel like i already ruined my college resumé.. i can't wait for the next 3 years to just end so i can finally leave for college (if i somehow make it) and hopefully have a fresh start and be able to embrace myself

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anonymous School July 15, 2023 at 5:35 am 1 0