who wants to hear about my coworkers boink lives?

No one?! I don't either.

I work with the loudest most braindead set of social rejects you could imagine. They talk like it's an episode of Friends or That 70s Show, of making everything about be about sex.

You got the chronic cheater, who I guess is like the Kelso/Joey of the group. Piece of shit who looks goofy, but thinks he looks good. He hits on everyone. Smooth.

The virgin who pretends he isn't. Who friendzones himself with every girl and acts like :0 when they don't want to be his girlfriend after six months of hanging out on undefined outings that he pays for.

And this other bitch whose like 30. She still lives with her parents for no reason. She's able bodied, her parents are. She has a job that'd afford a place. Yet she lives at home and brings guys home. Boasts about fuckin and shit while her parents are home.

Let's play Dave Chappelle's Educated Guessline and see into their futures. Kelso wannabe will never be happy. He'll eventually get more out of shape and what few women he can pull will no longer want him, and he'll be too old to fuck around with 20 something year old girls who don't know any better. So, fatty trailer trash for him.

Guy 2 is such an inept retard I could never even imagine him actually getting a real date, much less anything further than that. Maybe if he'd actually make his intentions clear and stop trying to copy the fictional melodrama from TV shows and movies, and also if he'd stop obsessing over every fucking girl he sees. It's pathetic. And stop just being so fucking childish and weak. He's a grown man and acts like a retarded 14 year old. He'll never grow up. Probably won't even be able to beg a former classmate to go out with him at 35.

The other bitch? She'll likely continue to be a childish stupid brat. Will get preggers and either stay at her parents forever and inherit the house, or live in poverty with whichever rich acting loser boyfriend who gets her pregnant. They'll be dumbfounded over the fact that Nikes and Chick Fil-a cost a lot of money, but they sure as shit can't go without those things, so go ahead and always be one paycheck away from being totally fucked.

And this is at an office building, mind you. Not a pretzel stand.

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anonymous Funny July 15, 2025 at 4:25 pm 0 2