Next guy since a breakup; attachment issues

Icl I need to stop myself from getting so attatched so soon. There’s this guy that isn’t even my type or anything and I originally just started talking to him for fun or whatever.. we have the exact same music taste, his personality is so weird it’s kinda cute, we just connect on so many different levels, intellectually being the part I love the most. So he’s in the year above at uni right, and attends so far away (context I’ve known him for around a month? His uni is 5h away!). He’s opened up to me about struggles he’s been facing and I kinda love that. We’re so used to our late night texts, and even I’ve found myself being quite chalant and vulnerable with him about my emotions. Idk I think I’m starting to like him a bit too much but don’t want to come across as annoying. Like im super attracted to his personality and if im allowed to even say his body without judgement then that too…

I’m trying to be the understanding person that understands he has a life too so obviously can’t be messaging me all the time. I’ve just found myself talking to him so much over the past month whilst he hasn’t been at uni, but now he’s back in his routine (socialising, going out etc) I can’t help but feel a little lonely and left behind. I’m trying to pick up hobbies to fill the gaps of time ig as that’s probably the smartest use of time, but I physically can’t distract my brain enough and I know I’m getting Attatched. I just got out of a relationship of a year (talking two years prior) a mere 3 months ago and idk if this is just a natural reaction to getting the attention I’ve missed out on!! He is genuinely the sweetest person!

The reason I’m writing this now is because we spoke a lot this morning (he went out clubbing the night before and I fell asleep before he got back at 3am), and called for the first time. I’m a big fan of calling as I can’t really text to convey my emotions sometimes, but he is apparently less so. Anyways we spoke and played some mini games for around 30 mins until he had to go and pick up his friend that’s visiting and staying with him over the next few days. Obviously I get that would mean he’s busy, and wasn’t expecting much of a reply ofc but I think it just reinforced my loneliness. I live no where near my friends as they’re all the next town over. I’m housebound and home alone for tonight too. I think I just really wanted some company…?

I hate the idea of basing my whole day around when he’d text back. That’s what I hated most about my past relationship. I wasn’t motivated to do anything, even studying. Literally he hung up the phone because he had to walk to the station, said bye and left my follow up text saying bye on seen. I just found myself sending stuff to him hoping he’d at least give me an update about what he’s up to or something.

Right so he comes back, I’m staying up waiting for him to text (idek why I’m so tired), it’s 11 something pm now and we had hung up the call at 3pm. He replied back to all my reels I spammed him with (bless) and then I ask about his day. I’ve been looking so forward to talking with him all day ofc to find out how his day has been because I genuinely enjoy texting him. But he lowk cuts it short with his answers by keeping them super vague. So I ask for a selfie because I missed his face and he sends one but he genuinely looks super tired.. so I point this out and he agrees that he is and asks me if it’s okay if he sleeps now, and if he can’t sleep he’ll text me straight away. I obviously agree and say ofc he can sleep and goodnight but I lowk started crying straight after for no reason. I had to physically slap myself to remind that I’m not crying over a guy again!

I feel like I’m kinda being really selfish and sensitive but I’m not sure because I don’t want to hold him back from living his life. I might just be projecting myself..? Obviously we’re not together or anything and he’s not doing anything inherently wrong either. In fact, I highlighted how much I valued communication and these little updates early on when we started talking and he said he understood. And I can’t fault it! I think I might just be coming across as an obsessive loser with no life. Any other day then id go and waste my time yearning at the gym but i messed up my back so havent been since, and find it difficult to walk.

I just dont know how to sound less like an obsessed loser.

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anonymous Relationships January 18, 2026 at 7:14 pm 0 0