How are you? A philosopher enjoying cinisism.

Weather im good or bad i should just do what has to be done and so the question is irelevant. But what has to be done? Are we doing alredy everything we can? I dont think so but i can not do what i have imagined, and thats why im bad.

Whats the point of speaking if you havent made anything of your self? What can one offer but empty ideas grounded in stupidity. Stop thinking and live!

Weather they say they are good ideas or stupid ideas they just turn to something else whatever they were doing before things dont go anywhere nothing ever happens but my time passing me by. And what is left for realisng them, my talent but when i look over my sholder to the side a bigger talent is there so talent wont do either. Where am i left to go but to accept things as they are and call it maturity. I refuse, i invest more of my pride in ideas. Am i taking a easy path or am i taking a harder one? I am working i have a job, im not in my parents house. But the adventure is becoming stale, i felt i can conquer the world but now i am crushed beneath its weight. It seems that way but i still dare not to beleave my eyes, foolish?

Thoughts are not results, the difference between genius and madnes is sucess. No wonder Nietzche went mad. All philosophers are mad men, he was just the maddest of the mad. We are pointless pointers. A cursed discipline. Just you with the devil in his chatedrale of scilence. Getting high on power fantasies, and boom depression.

Every atempt to focus on previous conceptualisations bares a signiffican risk of falling into depression later down the line.

I dont know weather i enjoy it or not, when i think something good came up to me i feel releaved so releaved it seems like happyness i can laugh about it, its as if holding piss and than finaly you take a piss and the releaf feels so good it makes me chucle.

I am always playing my identity its all about how i see my self ego is focus. But if there are truths that require me to doubt my identity than i have to not just abandon my imagine of my self but imagine the most hopeles possible version of me i can think of and work my way up from there. Its as if creating two illusions and when they interlock you realise they contradict one another and you can take a glips of truth for a moment. And you let that glipse influence your further work your new identity your new focus.

Anyway

Wasted another day on YouTube, i cant get out of my room. I got out of bed, i cooked something i exercised a little bit went back to bed, than exercised so more, back to bed.

I hate my life, i hate everything even more. I am doing it i am caring but i dont like what i care about.

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Petar Other January 18, 2026 at 3:09 pm 1 0