My own personal loser monologue

It all started as a joke. I was watching a video of you dancing, not realizing that I would end up falling for you. I mean, who would have thought, right? That day, I didn’t know what to do, so I looked you up. I found out that you were impersonating Pororo, which I thought was kind of cute, to be honest. I shrugged it off, though, and went back to my dull, boring routine, scrolling through reels. But you popped up again. This time, the video was of you crying after winning that survival show.I was at my lowest point during that time, and somehow, I could feel what you were feeling. I thought, "Damn, I’m jealous. She’s successful now, and me? I’m nothing." So, I looked you up again on Instagram, and there it was—your pictures. You’re beautiful. You’re cute. You seem so innocent. Your eyes, they’re captivating. I want to get lost in them. Your hands, I wish I could hold them. But then reality hit me—how could I ever? I stood in front of the mirror and saw someone I couldn’t even recognize anymore. I told myself how ugly I am, and then I looked back at your picture—you looked like a princess. And me? I’m nobody. I tried to forget about you, to move on, but I can’t. I don’t think I ever will. I know you’re not going to read this, but I’m writing it anyway because, well, I have a habit of wasting my time on things that seem pointless. Words can’t even begin to describe how breathtaking you are, while here I am, feeling like trash. The worst part is this constant thought in my head, "What will happen when you grow up? I bet your future boyfriend is going to be one lucky guy. He’ll hold your hand better than I ever could. He’ll brush your hair gently while you’re getting ready, and he’ll be there to cry on your shoulder when he needs comfort. He’ll be so lucky, and I’ll just be here, still admiring you from afar."But who am I to say any of this, right? I should be happy for you, supportive even, because that’s what fans do. But I’m just a fan with feelings. And I hope these feelings will fade someday, even though deep down I know they probably won’t. I just want to see you once, even if it’s from a distance. But if we ever do meet, I’m scared you’ll run away when you see me, and I couldn’t blame you. I’m nothing special to look at. Still, I hope you’ll somehow read this and know how much I admired you, how much I cared for you back then. I wish I could be that lucky guy who gets to do all the things I imagine, but I know deep down that’ll never happen. So, I’ll keep admiring you from a distance, and maybe, just maybe, these feelings will disappear in time. But until then, I guess I’ll continue dreaming.

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DespondentLlama Crushes September 28, 2024 at 8:00 pm 1 0