silly

I'm not doing very well and sometimes my heart feels like it might burst from how upset I am. I want to be loved, but sometimes it feels like I'm not worthy of it. like everyone around me is finding their true love and im sat alone and miserable and it sucks. my friends are all so pretty and they all have relationships, and they try and tell me that I'm pretty too but I don't believe it. if I was pretty I would've had someone to call mine by now. I don't want to have to change the way I look so that someone will look at me and love me. there's so much more to me but it feels like it's not enough. and if I get close to being in a relationship my brain fills with anxiety and it makes me feel sick and nauseous constantly. I feel like im broken. like I'm some unnatural being. it feels like I'll never find someone. and people keep telling me that trying to seek out love is only going to make it harder to find, but I can't help it. I want someone to hold me in their arms and tell me it will be okay. someone who will love me for my good traits and my flaws. something pure. is that so much for a girl to ask for? I know it sounds selfish to say this, but surely I deserve it? surely I am allowed to ask for it. I can only hope I can have my prayers answered. being alone for the rest of my life feels like the most depressing thing ever and at that rate, I'd be dead before 20.

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anonymous Other September 28, 2024 at 5:57 pm 1 0