Lowkey a Nothing

I hate how alone I feel. I can’t even think of a single person to text about this who’d respond.
I wish I never had to move away. I wish I was less weird. I wish I could tell whether or not my boyfriend actually wants me. I think he does because he’s my boyfriend, but I learned the hard way that someone doesn’t have to love you to be with you. I wish I had my old friends back. The ones I could tell ANYTHING and they’d match my energy. I miss when my coping mechanisms were just reading Percy Jackson and Harry Potter. I miss when I didn’t live somewhere where the worse thing you can be is a black teenage queer (that looks like a woman) I wish I had someone to say all this to that won’t respond in a basic sympathy message and ignore me for days.
In a few months I’ll be heading to college but who’s to say my life is gonna get any better? I just hope it does because I don’t wanna give up on what I’ve been doing for 18 years. Because then I’ll be like the person I hate most.
I basically said all this to say I wanna be someone. I wanna be a part of something. I wanna be a brick in someone’s Lego monument. Important. To anyone or anything.

Den :)

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Den Other May 13, 2026 at 8:43 pm 1 0