I'm a pathetic drunk.

There's no excuse or justification for it, I let the bad things in life overwhelm me and chose drink to cope instead of try to actually solve my problems like a normal human being.

My mum's extremely disappointed in me and fears for my safety though she'd never admit it. I've lost friends, opportunities, a good lot of my neighbours avoid me like the plague and mock me when they think I'm not listening or out of earshot. My deceased family members are probably turning in their graves too. I deserve it all, reap what you sow and all that.

Today I had a moment of clarity, for the first time I realised just how disgusting and selfish my actions are.

I signed up for AA and a therapist, can't say for sure if any of it's gonna help but I'll stick with it and try to be better.

Feel free to hate, curse and wish all the ills you can imagine on me, again I deserve it. But hopefully I'll be able to come back here in a few months and say that I've got off to a good start setting things right.

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CJ Other September 07, 2024 at 4:12 pm 2 0