i am not

god.

i live a young life and experience so much, that now i am mentally shattered

one, my sister is so annoying and she once put streaks of nail polish on my american doll for a christmas
one thing that is SO INFURIATING is when people say “oh you look like your sister”

id rather be alone.

i have gotten that HUNDREDS OF TIMES to the point where i will leave before you even think about it

two, my parents.

just today was my dad’s birthday and i ruined it for him in arguing shit with my mom because it always happens
one thing my mom doesnt FUCKING UNDERSTAND IS THAT I AM SO UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE CLOTHES SHE PUTS ME IN
words cannot explain how infuriated i am right now

and then she comes up with the “you make things difficult” excuse
and then whwn I say TRUE THINGS THIS WOMAN GOES “youre fine your stomach isnt hurting” WHEN IM ABOUT TO BUCKLE MY KNEES
HOLY SHIT

i feel like this was never a life for me but i still have my partner and my best friends but they live away from me and my friends are international so… its a big time gap like 6 hours


i have lost really good people because of my stupid delusional numbskull worthless piece of shit self that i have formulated in a sentence of what my dad calls me when i wear the clothes I like

“stupid homeless kid” when its just cargo pants and a nice sweater

i have teared up so many timez because what makes you think you can call your own child that way
YOU were the one that made me

now i don’t have a third one i would say school but school is school i got bullied like 6 or 7 times and be freaking mature stop screaming “677” when its not an appropriate time

seriously i wanna live life as a better girl
but what do i do
the therapist will tell my parents about what im writing here and then ill just get more punishment
i get locked in the bathroom or the bedroom sometimes


my only savior is my partner

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hachi Other May 07, 2026 at 12:30 am 0 0