You

I wish I had white parents.

The white parents that dropped everything to raise you. The white parents that lived to give you the best childhood. The white parents that screamed out your name at your first softball game. The white parents that made an effort to understand you and never made you feel like a burden.

"Why?"

I hate the language barrier between my parents and I. I hate the way they were raised and I hate that they try to enforce those same principles onto me. I hate the gaslighting, the lying, the fighting.

I hate the hypocrisy the most. I'm old enough to raise YOUR kids but not old enough to walk home from school? I'm old enough to know how to cook but not old enough to use the stove? I'm supposed to be the top student in my class, never anything less, but I'm not allowed to stay after school to study or practice anything? I'm supposed to be great at sports but you never let me play any? I'm supposed to have so many friends but I'm never allowed to ACTUALLY hang out with them?

I'm supposed to talk to YOU in YOUR native language, make the effort to learn the language you never bothered teaching me. I'm supposed to enjoy our culture and not be dis-encouraged when I get ridiculed by you?

I'm supposed to apply to the schools YOU want me to get into? Study to become what YOU wanted to be?

I don't owe you anything. Really, I don't. Nor do I feel indebted to you.

You cut my childhood short. You expect me to put you above everything else. You expect my life to be centered around you. You act like I told you to birth me, to birth my siblings. You act like I told you to go through with your shitty relationship. You act like I told you to keep the kids. You act like I told you to leave your family. You act like I'm supposed to know everything you don't. You act as if I were nothing.

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anonymous Home November 30, 2022 at 11:48 pm 0 0