WHY?!

Hello! I would like to rant about my life, about everything, I don't know what category, but I HATE WHAT I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW. IT FEELS HORRIBLE, I FEEL TERRIBLE, I FEEL LIKE I MESS UP EVERYTHING. NOT JUST IN MY FAMILY, IN SCHOOL, IN ACADEMICS, IN COMPETITIONS, IN FRIENDSHIPS, AND EVERYTHING. Let's start. Academic. WHO AM I WITHOUT MY ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENTS? WHO. AM. I. WITHOUT. MY. ACADEMIC. ACHIEVEMENTS. I try so hard to win and win and win, and then at some times I win, some times I don't. But, either way, why does it feel like I AM NEVER ENOUGH? They always see the worst, and not the best. They always spot my mistakes and things I do wrong, but never the things I do right. WHY? Do they hate me that much? Did I do something? NOTHING. Why is it so unfair? Why is it that if it's my sister, even if she got a low score, "wow" "very good!" "that's good" "i'm so proud of you" but if it's me, "is that all?" "do better?" WHEN I HAVE DONE SO MUCH. I SACRIFICED MY ENTIRE LIFE TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY. I chose everyone's happiness, rather than my own. I chose for them to be happy, even if it means that it will be the opposite for me. But, even after all that, it's still not enough? Am I not enough? Everyday, I go to school, I finish my tasks, I finish everything, but, they never ever ever appreciate anything I do. WHY? Do they not see how hard I work for the things they want? Do they not see how hard I work just for them to be happy? It's always "do more, do better, that's all?, such a low score" but never, "that's good, you've done so much, wow, that's high!" They always compare me, then be it. BUT WHY DO YOU NEED TO DO IT IN FRONT OF ME?! Second, RELATIONSHIPS. Why does it feel like, everything is my fault? I've done nothing wrong, but it's still my fault? I don't understand why, I am such a people pleaser. I do everything they want, but in return, I get backstabbing friends. They always badmouth me and talk trash behind my back. They always say things they shouldn't. They don't even know how to keep secrets. I told them this one boy that I really admired, he was my friend. And they told him that I liked him, which I don't. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "LIKE" AND "ADMIRE" don't they know that? They made him uncomfortable, which is why we don't talk anymore like we used to do. It's just, annoying. Sorry for the "!?" "!!" and grammatically wrong sentences, or words that are spelled wrong.

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blei Other January 07, 2025 at 7:00 am 0 1