The shit

Today at work I proudly announced that 'I'm off for a shit!' and one of the lads in the workshop shouted 'enjoy!'
So off I went, got settled on the bog and performed my abbloutions and 10 mins later I was done. Happy, content and feeling a few pounds lighter I went to the sink to wash my hands when suddenly one of the welder guys ( lets call him Dave) turned up for a piss and scornfully announced 'fuck me it stinks in here' while fumbling in his boiler suit for his tackle. That was me!!!' I said proudly as Dave grumbled and muttered calling me all the names under the sun as I howled with laughter, proud at the toxic stench I had created. Then, the supervisor turned up (lets call him Rupert) and also declared the fact that it stunk like holy hell in the works bog. 'Jesus wept Dave, is that you?' asked Rupert.
'Nooooooo!!!! Its that dirty stinking fucker there!!!' growled Dave as I slumped over the sink, tears rolling down my face, giggling un-controlably.
Rupert, unwittingly entered the cubicle that I had just violated when suddlenly he screamed out 'Oh for fucks sake Rob, get rid of it , jesus suffering fuck, yer an animal!!!!' I entered the cubicle, still giggling and feeling immensely proud . And there it was, the massive shit that I had only done a minute earlier with its head poking out of the water like something from a crap B movie (literally), the monster in the toilet.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder and Daves face appeared next to mine and as he stared at my creation he said the words that made my week. 'You could stick googly eyes on that bastard' and walked off laughing. I did the second flush and the shit was gone and so was Dave and Rupert, unable to take any more.
The moral of this tale? Have 5 pints and a curry the nigh before, it dont half cause a stink in more ways than one!

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Rob Funny October 03, 2025 at 2:13 pm 0 0