Return of Saturn

Not just the name of a shitty No Doubt album. It's supposedly something where when you're in your late 20s, early 30s you feel like you've outgrown shit that wasn't good for you any way. So you're getting more inline with who you actually are.

I see myself losing more and more interest in shit I can't believe I ever cared about to begin with.

Fast food. I can't stand most of it anymore. It's overpriced and doesn't taste that good. The amount of garbage people I've been around who collectively make themselves poorer by living off the shit puts a bad taste in my mouth. This combined with the fact that Burger King makes me feel sick the next day after eating it. McDonalds fucking sucks, and Taco Bell makes me feel like shit because I always eat too much. So, I really don't want to get this shit any more. I was doing it once or twice a week. Not anymore.

TV and video games. I have a casual interest. I can't stand how annoying the people are who base their identity around the shit are. How cliquey and shit game stores are. And everything about it. I've already sold off about half of my collection. Got about another 25% then I'm done and don't really plan to ever buy another video game again after that. I got enough of that shit.

Dating. My 20s were spent trying to fill the hole in my heart left by my family never caring, and some bitch who probably never cared about me to begin with. I LOVED Scott Pilgrim because his ex was just as much of a bitch as mine was. Now I can't stand that movie (soundtrack is still good tho) worked through and finally grieved what I needed to after realizing what it was, and I'm in a different place dating wise.

I blew off dating someone recently. She had no personality and LOVED drinking. Women like that suck. I'm actually confident now I'll find someone. But I'm at no fucking point now or ever again where I'll have that desperate void.

In other words I have been through so much and am for once at a point where I can live my own fucking life. I know I look weird to my family and peers because I'm not a loathsome crybaby alcoholic with 4 kids like most of the trash around where I am. I'm not like this because I'm not trash and have spent my life working through problems dealt to me, I didn't get to create my own like retards.

My plan? I'm going to watch some Tron Legacy later. LOVE Tron anymore. And I'm going to do puzzles and go to the handful of places I want to go to. Mostly, I'm just going to fucking life my life for the first time without that void I described above.

And my ex? Has been married twice and is a big time alcoholic. If you couldn't already tell, Im celebite from ever drinking, yet I seem to gravitate towards alcoholics.

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anonymous Other March 15, 2025 at 2:38 pm 0 0