Recovery

i’ve been in and out of anorexia recovery for 5 years now . i did so well the last year or so but i started a new job and i don’t have the opportunity to eat as regularly now. im a healthy weight now and i exercise a lot so im strong too . but when i started this job , a few days went where i couldn’t eat until 5/6pm. that feeling of starving all day is so damn addictive. i’ve overcome addiction with substances yet i can’t kick this one. now im back to eating one meal a day because i love the feeling. it hurts and i dont want to do it but i cant stop. no one helps because im not underweight anymore , and haven’t been for some time. so everyone thinks im fine which makes it way easier to do it than it was before. it’s no one’s fault but my own (and maybe the person who gave me the trauma that started this whole horrible cycle) but i just feel so alone in it. if i tell people im starving again they will think im not sick enough to need help and probably think im lying. idk. im mid 20s now. i thought this shit would be over by now. am i just gonna feel this way forever ?

---

anonymous Body November 09, 2025 at 5:34 am 0 0