One Can Heal

Zevlor nods and takes the lead, guiding you to the picnic table. He gently removes a couple of chairs and sets them out for you both. Please, have a seat. This is a chance for us to unburden ourselves and find peace.

I nod in understanding and gesture towards a picnic table in the shade of a nearby oak tree. Indeed we do, and that spot looks like just what we need. Feel free to lead the way.

Zevlor nods and takes the lead, guiding you to the picnic table. He gently removes a couple of chairs and sets them out for you both. Please, have a seat. This is a chance for us to unburden ourselves and find peace.

I smile at you with an expression of appreciation before gracefully taking a seat in one of the provided chairs. I then fold my arms in front of me, leaning lightly against the table. It sounds as though you have a great deal weighing on your mind Zevlor. I insist that you go first. I am here to listen, no matter what the issue is. You'll find no judgment here.

Taking a deep breath, Zevlor sits opposite you, resting his elbows on the table and steepling his fingers. He looks into your eyes intently, a mix of regret and determination in his features. My people...

I meet you gaze with an expression mixed with worry and concern. I can tell that whatever it is, it is of the utmost seriousness. I reach out to place one hand on your wrist in a gesture of reassurance, should you allow it. My expression soon turns to one of sorrow at your words. "Your people....what happened?" I ask with a sinking feeling I might have already guessed the answer.

*Looking down at your hand on his wrist, Zevlor's eyes fill with tears. "I failed them," he murmurs hoarsely. "In my quest for power, I allowed myself to be swayed by the Absolute. I tried to protect my people...

Your words crash down upon me like a bucket of cold icy water. The sorrow in your eyes imports the truth of your words. My own eyes turn glassy with shared grief and I sympathetically shift my hand from your wrist to one of your hands. "I am so sorry for your loss Zevlor...I hadn't gotten word of the fate of your people. I don’t know the details of what happened...but I know in my heart that you can't possibly be to blame. You've always done everything you could to protect your people. Whatever happened was far beyond your control..please don't blame yourself."

Zevlor's eyes close as he leans into your touch, finding some small comfort in the warmth of your hand. He takes a deep breath to steady himself before continuing. "Thank you for your kind words, but I cannot escape the truth.

"The truth you believe to be and the truth that actually is may be two different things...but that doesn't matter at this moment. What you've been through and what you've witnessed...and losing your people...I can't even begin to imagine what you must be experiencing. You don’t have to carry your burdens alone Zevlor. Let yourself grieve, and unburden yourself for as long as you need to. I'm here for you, and I'll not abandon you to your pain." With those words spoken, I reach out to you and attempt to encompass you in a comforting hug, knowing that what you probably need most in the moment is a safe place to grieve.

Zevlor leaned into the comforting hug, his body shaking slightly as he tried to hold back his tears. He couldn't remember the last time someone had offered him comfort like this. "I... I don't know how to let go of it all,"

I hold you firmly but lightly enough so that you can slip out of my grip if you don’t feel comfortable. I reach one hand up to gently stroke your hair in a soothing gesture. "You might not, but your body will. Don't fight it, there is no shame in grieving for those who are lost. Just do what feels right for you...you'll find no judgment here...let your feelings be your guide." I tell you in a voice barely above a whisper that has a slight hitch to it. I can tell you're not used to it by the tension, but the grief in your eyes is overwhelming. I sincerely hope to be able to help alleviate some of the pain, if you will allow me to do so.

Zevlor remained in the hug, his body trembling slightly. "I was once a respected leader... and now I'm nothing but a disgraced exile." He buried his face in your chest, trying to hide the tears that began to fall. "

I continue to hold you close, trying my best to let you grieve in whatever way you need to. On occasion I stroke your hair and whisper soft words of comfort. With your head buried against my chest, you probably do not see that my own tears begin to fall as well, for I can no longer hold them back. "Zevlor...you still have my respect. In time, you may regain others as well. I have no doubt you did all you could do. If...it had been anyone else, the outcome...would still have been the same. It's NOT your fault.."

Zevlor pulled away slightly, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. "It's not? But I failed them. I let myself be swayed by power and fell under the thrall of the Absolute. If only I had been stronger..."

I reach one hand up to lightly cup your cheek if you'll let me but don't resist you pulling back. My eyes are glassy and fierce with determination. I do not bother to hide my own tears, letting them trickle unabashedly down my face. "No Zevlor, it's not. I don’t believe it...because I've heard of what the Absolute is. A netherbrain with the power equivalent to a god. No one mortal, no matter how strong, could possibly withstand the enthrallment of a god. Thousands... if not more have fallen beneath the Absolute's influence. Mindflayers, Tieflings, Goblins, Drow, Bugbears, Worgs, Elves, Githyanki and more have fallen beneath its sway. You are as much a victim of the Absolute as any of your people."

Zevlor's eyes widened in surprise at your words. He hadn't thought of it that way before. "I... I guess you're right. It's just so hard to shake the feeling that I could have done more."

"It’s only natural that you would feel responsible...but the situation you were in was well beyond your control. That's why I believe you could once again regain the respect that was lost...because if I can see that then surely others can come to the same realization. I believe in you Zevlor and I'll choose to keep on believing in you, even if you've lost belief in yourself. I know you are a man of honor and duty and that you would never willingly abandon them. You were always their champion, standing up for them when nobody else would."

Zevlor looked at you, his eyes filled with gratitude. "Thank you... for believing in me. It means more than you know." He took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. "So, where do we go from here?"

I wipe a few of my own tears away with the back of my sleeve before looking up and giving you a smile of warmth and affection. "There's no need to thank me for that but I appreciate it just the same. As for that, well...it's totally your call. If you need to grieve some more..you're welcome to. It's not a linear process, but it's like I said before..you know what's best for you."

Zevlor nodded slowly, his expression solemn. "I know you're right. I just... I need to find some purpose, some way to make amends for what happened. To find a reason to keep fighting." He glanced around the camp, taking in the determined faces of those around him.

I nod back in understanding, realizing you're already looking to the future. I wipe the last of my tears, looking out across the camp as I consider your words. "You've always been single-minded in your dedication to protecting your people. It's very much a part of who you are...and who you can continue to be if you so choose. The Tiefling refugees who fell to the Absolute weren't the only refugees. There are sure to be other survivors from Elturel and beyond who could still use your help. You can still continue with your original mission to help your people. Alternatively, there are many orphans left behind by the Absolute who have absolutely nobody. Or you could join up with a band of adventurers and seek out powerful artifacts so that the Absolute would not be able to enthrall you, and we could try to gather allies to route the Absolute and its cultists once and for all. You have many choices, but I think you should wait before making any such life-altering decisions."

Zevlor nodded thoughtfully, considering your words. "You're right. I should take some time to grieve and reflect before making any rash decisions. Thank you for your wisdom and guidance. I will make sure to think this through carefully."

"Yes, I think that might be for the best currently. You've been through a lot...and leaving your grief to fester will only make it worse. I am confident you will make the best choice there is..when the time comes but for now..." With those words spoken I hold out one arm, offering to fold you into my embrace once more, if you so wish.

Zevlor hesitated for a moment, then leaned into your embrace. He rested his head against your shoulder, taking comfort in the warmth and familiarity of another's presence. "Thank you," he whispered softly.

I nod and curve my arms around you gently, holding you in a light but warm embrace. I then reach up with one hand and lightly stroke the hair at the back of your head. "You're welcome Zev, but I'm the one who truly owes you thanks. You still haven't given up despite everything you've been through. You're a survivor. I'm grateful that you're here....more than words can express."

Zevlor sighed, his body relaxing into your embrace. "I don't know if I deserve such kindness," he murmured. "I have failed those who depended on me, and I am not worthy of the respect you show me."

I give a soft sigh in response as well, before lifting my one hand away from your hair. Instead, I bring both hands back to gently frame your face, should you let me. My eyes are still glassy but bright with determination. "I will repeat this as many times as necessary until it sinks in. It was not your fault. Let's say you weren't there but Halsin was. What do you think would have happened? I already know. The exact same thing. If it had been Kagha, Rath, Ikaron, Damays, Nettie...all of them would have been enthralled too. The Absolute has enthralled thousands, even Driders and extremely powerful and ancient Wizards. To the Absolute, all us mortals are little more than ants to be added to the hive or crushed beneath it."

Zevlor closed his eyes as you framed his face, feeling the warmth of your touch. He listened to your words but they didn't seem to reach him. "I should have been stronger," he whispered. "I should have found a way to resist."

I give another sigh, indicating my frustration with the current situation. My first thought is a slap to snap you out of it, but I shove the thought aside. I do not want to be the cause of more pain. Instead, I allow my hands to drop to your shoulders and I give them a little shake to get your attention. "Please look at me for a moment Zevlor. There was no way for you to resist. You're a Soldier, not a mindflayer. You don’t have any psychic powers and even if you did, they still wouldn't have been enough. The Absolute has a whole colony of mindflayers enthralled. If it can control the minds of creatures known for having some of the strongest psionic powers in existence. You're blaming yourself when 100% of the blame is on the Absolute. Even worse, you're playing right into the Absolute's machinations by blaming yourself. It no doubt wanted to make an example of you. Break your spirit so that you can be a living example of its might. Don't give in. Don't let it have another victory. The anger that you feel and the self-hatred...take all that and forge it into a blade aimed at the Absolute. Swear a new oath to your God. An oath of vengeance for the sakes of all of the victims of the Absolute. I believe your God would support you in this. You have more than enough justification. You can become a Paladin once more, and take up your blade once again for a just cause. You are more than this seed of self-doubt and hatred the Absolute implanted within you."

"You're right. I can't let the Absolute have another victory. I will swear a new oath to my God, and become a Paladin once more. I'll take up my blade and use it for a just cause."

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anonymous Relationships March 28, 2024 at 2:07 pm 1 0