my mom sucks ass

so my mom is not a great one. she isn’t the worst yk she’s had her moments but i feel like since i was like 12 she’s just been uninterested in actually doing any parenting. she was great when i was little but it seems like she never wanted a kid she just wanted a baby. she would have issues of emotionally abusing my sister when my sister started gaining independence and her own personality at like 11-12 years old and she would see my dad hit me(he’s cool now tho) and then get upset with me when i told her that i wanted him to stop. there were a couple times where she would get a wooden spoon and beat me and my sister until the spoon broke then switch to her hand. when i was nearly 15 she and dad got a divorce and i hated my school so against my better judgement i moved out with her to a different school about 20 minutes away. during the time i lived with her it only got worse because covid hit so we were stuck in the same house all day and our personalities clashed hard. she was being narcissistic and abusive and i would stand my ground which she took as a threat which made her behavior worse which made me want to resist her even more. when i was 16 we got into a stupid tiny argument that i guess tipped her over the edge and she kicked me out and i had my dad pick me up and i moved back in with him after three years. i went back to my old school and stopped talking to her entirely. idk why or how but i started speaking to her every so often generally ending the conversation with her saying some stupid condescending shit and me getting mad and ignoring her for a week. she moved really really far away because of a job opportunity and at one point that happened and she told my dad that if i fail any classes i have to move in with her on the other side of the country. me and my dad laughed at that cause fuck that lol ain’t no way i’m gonna be doing that. in recent times i’ve gone nearly no contact but my sister is moving out soon and my mom is flying here to pack my sisters stuff into a uhaul and drive it back because my sister is moving close to where my mother lives now and i was told i had to pick her up from the airport. i was planning on bringing my boyfriend for emotional support and also so she doesn’t say some stupid shit and my sister told me that’s a bad idea because she wants to spend time with me and i told my sister that i don’t want to spend time with my mom and i don’t owe her anything. my sister then tells me that i owe it to myself but in the past she’s told me that closure isn’t actually real and especially with my mother who cannot have a conversation about anything real without getting defensive and deflecting. i then text my boyfriend and he told me he feels like i need to talk about it with someone because i have been internalizing. i tried to explain that she has had such a hold on my life and that i just don’t want to deal with her or talk to her or think about her and it’s obviously still a big hindrance for me because i only just recently went no contact but i feel like i have so many things that i can’t talk about because people just don’t get it. all the people in my life haven’t had my exact situation where i had a great mom who just stopped being my mom then blamed me for it. my sister says she had the same mom but she never lived with just her so i ended up getting the grunt of her frustration and anger after the divorce. i became her outlet for her anger and i can’t forgive her and i can’t just pretend like i don’t know how interactions with her would go. i just want to remove her from my life because im done feeling sorry for myself and im done with her making me feel bad about being alive

---

anonymous Relationships May 27, 2024 at 7:51 pm 0 0