Mr f

I need to tell someone about this but I feel like I can’t talk about it with anyone I know.
I live in a small town and when I was back from my first year of college and working last summer one of the regulars was one of my old teachers.
He was my teacher in middle and high school so about seven years. I always thought he was a nice person, and he was so friendly and nice with me especially outside of school. He was kinda weird person but I always thought he was an actual good guy. He was also the dad of one of my best friends at the time and although we’ve lost contact kinda (she’s been traveling and we haven’t talked in a while) I still love her as a old friend and a really great person. We were good friends in middle and high school and I’d stay at her house sometimes.

Anyway when I was working he’d talk to me and at first it was just friendly regular stuff. It was nice actually he was really nice and asked me questions and actually listened to what I was saying, like really paid attention and stuff. He was just being friendly and we just talked about normal stuff , and I thought he’s just a really nice person, no one else I’ve ever met asked about regular stuff that much and actually cared about my answer like that or listened like that.
But then it started getting weird, he asked me if I was 18 yet and said I could get into a little trouble and as he kept coming in he kept saying more shit like that he’d been thinking about when we went swimming and that I should come do that again, and I should go to the drive in movies and he was going and that he liked my hairstyle and if I was lonely that summer.
When I realized it wasn’t just him being nice it was fucked up. I was panicking though and didn’t know what to do, I just kept being polite and trying to get out of it or say things like yeah maybe or something. Honestly I mostly just tried to agree and change the subject, I don’t even know.
But I feel so guilty because I kept responding and being nice and I feel horrible but I didn’t want him to stop. Even though I know it was kinda fucked up and it made me feel sick but I didn’t want him to stop cause he was being so nice and the way he was talking to me and listening it was like he cared and wanted me. I didn’t shut him down cause I was scared and didn’t know what to do but also because I didn’t want him to stop, not when it felt like he cared.
I feel so guilty and bad because I did that and I don’t know how I could face my friend again. I don’t know what to do.
I also feel so betrayed almost which is stupid but I always thought he was such a good guy and whenever he did talk to me it felt like someone actually saw me and wanted to hear what I had to say but then he said those things and I know it’s not true he just wants to fuck someone who’s young and it’s fucked up.
Also I feel sick cause what if there was stuff I didn’t realize earlier that was wrong?
I don’t remember him ever doing anything weird although I did stay at his house several times, what if he did and I was sleeping or something? I don’t think so but still. He took a few of my friends and I swimming once at a waterfall and he swam with us which wasn’t weird at the time and I don’t remember anything weird although I don’t remember it much tbh cause it was several years ago. He hugged me when he saw me at the store a couple years ago and it was kinda weird, he hugged me very tight and it was a long hug but he never did anything else.
He had videos for class assignments, totally normal but what if he deepfaked them or something? God I was in his class since I was like 11.
I know probably nothing bad happened, he’s probably not that weird but I just feel betrayed and like I didn’t know what was going on.
Also I know none of this was illegal or anything, he didn’t hit on me till I was 18 and I don’t think he ever did anything else when I was younger. But at the same time it feels kinda fucked up and I just feel so guilty and horrible because this happened and I didn’t really stop it and I feel like I’m a horrible person and betrayed my friend. I don’t know what to do and I’m scared to see him or my friend around town this summer.
If anyone actually read this whole long ass thing thank you, I needed to say this to someone. Please comment if there’s anything helpful you wanna say. Thanks

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anonymous Other June 20, 2025 at 4:55 am 0 0