Life is such a fucking shit show

I cannot begin to explain how unlucky of a person I am. Everyone's always telling me to count my blessings but I only have one. One blessing out of 38 years of misery. That would be my child. I cannot provide for myself like I used to and life is just continually spiraling with no solution in sight. I've been crippled recently, and physically broken so many times pain is a familiar presence. Not only that, but any endeavor that I try to succeed at I am either quickly humbled because my body will not let me perform through it and achieve any real progress, or it's just taken from me. Time after time it just keeps happening. I've lost any spark for life and curiosity is a chore and no longer interests me. I've been consistently dashed and slaughtered out of EVERYTHING. NO FAMILY NO FRIENDS AND NO MEANINGFUL FUTURE. I SOMETIMES THINK EVEN MY CHILD WOULD FAIR BETTER IN ANOTHER FAMILYS CARE JUST BECAUSE THEY WOULDNT HAVE MY LUCK. I AM A CURSE. I ONLY WEAR DOWN AND DESTROY THINGS AND PEOPLE AROUND ME AND IM NOT ACTIVELY EVEN TRYING TO DO IT!!!! It all just keeps falling apart. I'm done trying. If failure is my life then I accept it. I truly do. I give up. Time can come creeping and take me off this fucking planet. It's never going to get better. Sometimes you get placed in an amazing body, and all that hard work actually gets you somewhere. You get to do the things you love and you never ever have a thought of this jaded spectacle. You're admired and welcomed to everything you attend or have interest in. I wish I was somebody else, but even then with my luck, I'd just end up a fucking worm in a blender.

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I'm not giving my name to a machine Body June 26, 2024 at 5:20 am 0 0