i miss my sister

my mom took my sister to the er yesterday because she was saying things the day prior that sounded suicidal. lately she has been hearing voices, acting erratically. & some of it is fun, like dancing like crazy, not caring what ‘normal’ is like we all quietly sit in chairs on our phones but she’s fun & has a wild imagination so she’s not content with being boring. but the parts about her that have changed for the worst is her negative self talk. she says she’s disgusting, creepy, ugly, fat. she’s literally a tiny beautiful gorgeous girl. anyone can see that. also she used to crochet, make amazing art , she’s so talented at everything like baking, cooking, making art of any kind really. she doesn’t do any of that anymore. she stays up all night and sleeps in the day. she has no motivation to get a job or do her hobbies. she’s 29. she tells us not to worry about her and she’s her own person and makes her own decisions but of course we’re worried for her because we love her. i stayed the night with her in the er, then they admitted her into a different room and told me i couldn’t go with her. so i just walked out and im sitting outside. i feel like a failure of a sister. she told me i used to be sweet so i figure she doesn’t think i am anymore. i love her fun wild side i love dancing crazy and having fun and not being normal too. but i want her to be safe. and i feel a lot of sweetness and empathy for everyone especially her but she doesn’t see that because im not playing with her or dancing with her. it’s just that we’re at a hospital and there’s no music :( if we were home id dance with her all day. i feel so bad. i feel like i could have done a million things differently today to show her how much i love her. but instead i acted annoyed and ungrateful to still have her walking n talking in my life.

---

sad Other April 24, 2025 at 2:07 am 0 0