I'm done trying to be a stupid

I'm so freaking done of being this "Perfect Child" for them when I'm nothing but a broken mess. Every single time they shout at me, point out my flaws, compare me to others, or even sometimes hit me it just pierces through my heart every. single. time. You'd think I would have gotten used to it by now, I had it worse back then since I was younger, since I couldn't understand verbally, they would make me understand physically. Snapped my finger because I couldn't write the number 5 perfectly at age I think 3 or 4, hit my forehead with a hardcover book at age 5 because I couldn't spell some big words, that day my ear was also twisted, had my wrist stabbed with a pencil, and got pinched a LOT on my arm. I remember crying until my nose was red that day. Now they've been doing it verbally, got a 28/30 on a math test once, they called me a dumb idiot and said I have no future, compared me to other people highlighting their success, they've started body shaming me too now, calling me thin. Worst part? They act like nothing happened 5 seconds later and act like normal parents. Every time I tried to confront them about it, I would always break down crying and whatever words came out of me, they would turn it against me, saying they're helping me "Improve" and that I'm exaggerating too much, if it wasn't for them, maybe I'd be more confident in myself today. I would look forward to school more than my own home, I could be myself there, at home I would hide and cower in my room as I don't trust my parents anymore. I only spoke like 5 words to them a day at that point, realizing my words don't matter to them. Came out only for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. "Why doesn't my child talk to me anymore?" Gee I don't know, ever thought maybe you were the reason? "My child is fine." Your child is currently bawling her eyes out in the bathroom with both faucets on to drown out her sobbing because apparently crying is problem for you and telling whatever she couldn't tell you to strangers on the internet.

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Primrose Home May 03, 2026 at 3:33 pm 1 0