I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE

OH MY GOOOOSH I have work so hard making my room into a safe space, I have spent SO MUCH TIME figuring out a schedule that works for me so WHYYYY does my family just come sit in my room, talk about the most UNSAVORY TOPICS, ALL AFTER PREVENTING ME FROM DOING ANY WORK!!!! I EXPLICITLY TELL THEM IN ADVANCE WHAT I NEED TO DO AND YET THEY ARE SO BLIND TO ME STILL!!! I just want to SCREAM SO BAD. I HAVE OBLIGATIONS AND STANDARDS THAT I HOLD MYSELF TO THAT I CANT ANYMORE JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE SO FLIPPING UNAWARE OF ANYONE ELSES NEEDS! I AM LITERALLY HIDING IN THE BATHROOM AS I WRITE THIS JUST TO BE ALONE BECAUSE SHE IS STILL IN MY ROOM! Just GET OUT! I HATE them constantly interrupting and bothering me when I just want to get stuff done. I DONT HATE RHEM BUT JUST LET ME FINISH MY SHIT FIRST!!! This happens ALL THE STINKJNG TIME, treating me like an idiot, ignoring my schedule, getting mad at ME no matter what decision I make, GETTING PISSED WHEN I GET ANNOYED AT THEIR TIME BLINDNESS!!! Just PLEASE leave me alone. I can’t STAND this. I have due dates for school and I can’t even sit at the workspace that I LITERSLLY PAID FOR, to do work that I GOT FOR MYSELF while they eat MY FOOD!! I just want some privacy and respect and I’m too much of a people pleaser and they are too fcking BLIND TO SEE IT!!! I’m almost an adult. Please let me prepare for that. They are both getting old and I can see the changes. I want to be there for them and make money for them and help them BUT I FEEL SO STIFLED AT THE SAME TIME BY THEM! They are getting so frail and mentally unaware. I am so mad at everything right now. At the fact that i feel like I am not only bearing this burden alone but also failing miserably cuz I get so mad at them. I just want to make the right decisions for them but I feel like they are the very thing standing in my way. I don’t want them to die or get old, I want to help them and make money and help people. I am just so upset. It will pass. BUT MAN I FEEL SO OVERWHELMED and so mad

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anonymous Home September 19, 2024 at 9:05 pm 0 0