I dont want to make it

So i'm going to be 18 in a bit, and I want to somehow end it before. I legit don't want to see another day this is so insane. I've felt this way since I was 10 I'm so fucking done. I just don't fucking know how to do it and quite frankly I hate to see blood. I saw an article about helium or some doctors talking about avoiding the right thing to induce coma and then yk. Idk I want to do it. I literally only bring financial burden to my parnets its so fucking patheticccc fuck. I'm so horribly average at everything I do and its literally making me want to put a gun to my head. Im convinced a therapist will not help me so maybe this is my only option. I don't beleive for once anyone on earth gives a shit like you're performative asf if you are. I legit have not made any close friends everyone is like a stranger and it's sickening. and all I do is try to please my parents like some fucking child. It's pathetic really. I'm willing to do anything just so they can be happy. I can do anything they ask me but even that's not possible because I'm supposed to be a magical fairy who's proactive as hell. be proactive, proactive,proactive. I have to be more proactive. I have to be so proactive so she's proud of me. I can't even think about my meal tomorrow how tf am my going to guess whta you want. fuck and she shows me her moodswings and tells me I'm hard to talk to. Meanwhile everyone else is a fucking angel. I try so hard but I know I'll never be good enough. Then she calls it progressive like she's progressive but really I want to fucking go already. I want to leave please just let me go. I'm praying for like a car or something to hit me

---

anonymous Other March 27, 2026 at 12:27 pm 1 0