fucking hate mental health

So much bad shit has happened to me lately like in the last 2-4 years and I try so hard to stay positive and not worry about why everything is falling apart all the time, but my best friend died almost two years ago and since then everything has been so fucked, and idk what to do about it, I was just diagnosed with PTSD and now I have to start therapy for that, and even after I don't get flashbacks anymore I'll still not have my best friend here, nothing can fix that and I fucking hate myself for not being with her when she died and I hate the cars that were driving that night and I have so much anger in me all the time and it's so fucking unfair and people think I never processed her death because the trauma takes up too much room so now I'm so scared to get depressed again when I'm done with PTSD trauma and I cannot stand this shit like I just started school and nobody here knows me, I don't want to be the weird one who cries when she's drunk about how my fucking brain doesn't work but here we are!

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anonymous Other October 15, 2019 at 6:42 pm 1 1