Crashing out over a fucking fanart

I draw fanart and or original characters... not always due to my lack of motivation and ocd. I never share my art online, with family (I'd rather die than show anything to them), or with non existence friends and so on. I'm too sensitive to do so, so when my fucking sister comes up and without my fucking permission looks at them and makes jokes on how I'm drawing my crushes- I either crash out or feel hurt enough to not draw anything for like 5-7 months. Like- I'm asexual (not that anyone fucking cares), and I also put my love for something that I have no one to share to cause of how unsafe I feel and how sensitive I am into an art piece, and you just laugh at me and say "oh it's your crush~" NO IT FUCKING ISN'T! What I can't enjoy shit without you needing to either make a disgusting joke or a VERY FUCKING FUNNY CRUSH JOKE??? WOW WE'RE LAUGHING SO FUCKING MUCH!!! AREN'T WE!!?? No. No one is laughing except you. I can't even fucking cry about it or have a mental breakdown cause then I'm a sissy pussy for crying over pathetic shit like this. HAHAHAHA! Yeah sure. Whatever. I guess I just no longer enjoy what I used to enjoy cause why not. I abandoned so many fucking things cause people kept saying shit to me that triggered me. Like- I have fucking severe ocd... ofcourse I'm gonna get upset easily, and you just- like- fuck me I guess. Funny enough it's not even just hobbies or things that one might enjoy. Oh no no no nono. You thought that's it? People come at my throat because of my hobbies, job, cooking, living style, mental health, etc etc... heck even PISSING (I have kidney problems cause of high stress levels). Genuinely I feel incredibly discouraged and disheartened by everything. Can't enjoy fucking anything. Can't do fucking anything.

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Naromade Crushes September 01, 2026 at 10:01 am 0 0