why cant i be a normal social person?

i really struggle to find a reason to put so much energy into socialising but it keeps draining tf out of me. i find i kind of shut down and it takes me a lot of energy to refocus on whats being said by others and especially when theres motormouths and loudmouths i feel like im very useless at asserting myself a bit more and people can definitely be judgemental and say unkind things without realising that it bothers me so im like why should i bother with such two faced people? why cant i seemingly socialise without being too bothered by others behaviours?

im such a quiet spoken person too that i feel like they dont care to listen enough bc i dint speak loud enough but it tires me out if i have to raise my voice in order to be heard above a buncha loud morons. maybe if they tried to understand but they never do bc theyre loud and ignorant they fail to understand what its like to be anyone but loud. its even like this at events i go there, get tired after 5/10 minutes of being there and want to go home. even if i chose to go to said event/concert, the concert i went too had banshees in the seat next to me so it didnt help i still enjoyed it but i guess im just different and enjoy things differently to others. but even so i cant help but feel others judgements of me and how sometimes they can be a bit rude and unkind even over the smallest nonsensical thing or theyre overdramatic and dumb

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anonymous Other March 10, 2025 at 12:00 am 0 0