When boys are more valued than girls

How does it feel when your own mother always advocate for your sibling? You are always put in a disadvantaged position and she doesn’t care. Why do I stop asking her out to have lunch? Because she always makes sure I invite someone else. She’ll tell me I’ll pay but not make a move when it’s time to pay. Does she not know that I don’t make very much money compared to her son? Yet, she continues to take advantage of me shielding her beloved son from any unfairness. The latest was complaining that my gift to my niece was shabby. I need to gift more than double that. Who does that? How Rude! I don’t have the heart to tell her that, but it hurts. It hurts to have your own mother tell you that your gift was worthless when I need to spend within my means. I was embarrassed, shocked, disappointed, then elated. I’m embarrassed to be called on providing a shabby gift. After all, I make nothing compared to her other child. I’m shocked that my brother shared his emotions with her about how shabby my gift was. I’m disappointed because both are my closest people on this planet, yet they hurt me. I’m clinching my teeth trying not to shed any tears, yet tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably. The world changed. People change. This reminds me of my conversation with my high school friend many years ago when I first learned that I was going to have a brother. She couldn’t understand why I felt so excited about having a sibling to steal the love and wealth of the family that would’ve solely belonged to me. I couldn’t understand why she felt that I couldn’t share the love and joy of an addition to the family . Finally, I’m elated that it all makes sense. People change. It took me years to come to the realization that the old saying is right! A bowl of water IS hardly kept flat. The only way to make sure it’s flat is not moving it, just let it sit there. In my journey as a parent, I’ll run into the same situation. In fact, I have intervened not considering how my kids felt. We always want to point out what we think is right and wrong not realizing that they don’t care about whether it’s right or wrong because right and wrong is subjective anyways. I’m elated that I learned and I’m growing from these experiences, even though they are hurtful, uncomfortable, and disappointing.

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Jajangmyeon Home January 27, 2025 at 8:30 am 0 0