what retards believe in

The truth is out there. The truth is out there indeed. Here are things that retards openly believe. Protip: don't engage with retards, or you'll be forced to hear them ramble on about this shit. Here we go.

Elvis still being alive. They seriously think this. I heard a retard like a year ago talking about how Elvis was dating one of Lisa Marie's friends. I'm pretty sure this was after Lisa Marie's death too, or maybe the retard didn't know she was dead. But yeah, 90 year old Elvis is fucking his daughter's friends. He totally didn't die almost 50 years ago when he was in very poor physical/mental health, openly told people how he was ready to die and knew he would soon, and slept like 18 hours a day, only to wake up to take more pills and eat burgers and bacon and shit. He just faked his death to get away from....people. Yeah. Retards can never explain themselves, you're just supposed to roll with it.

Alien shit. Roswell. The copycat Roswell stories. UFOs. They think all of the SCIENCE FICTION about aliens is real life. They seriously think The X-Files shit is like real life, and they'll ramble about this like they are the only ones who see it. And they have no idea how retarded they come across.

Political conspiracy shit. They talk the same way about this subject. They believe all of the clickbaity headlines on YouTube. The shit where they think the political world is like an action movie. Bunkers reserved only for the rich. The richest families poisoning canned foods by getting each can sprayed with shit. These are both things I've heard different retards going on about. Or, the clickbait shit where every other day someone makes a fake headline video about a celebrity like Michael J Fox being dead. The retards pretend to be sad for five seconds before going back to look at smut, or the gamble.

That they'll hit it rich. Either from lotto scratchers, Pokemon cards, crypto, or whatever else. They don't understand what they are putting money in and think it's going to work like Willy Wonka. Where they can take their last dollar and turn it into $12989283984 and this will fix everything. Give a retard money, watch them piss it away. It's why they're always poor. They spent it on takeout, booze, drugs, porn, vapes, ciggies, streaming apps, and God knows what else.

And God. God doesn't exist. Retards are some of the most fowl, horrid, shit smelling and acting people ever. Yet, they pick and choose when to acknowledge the invisible Santa Claus figure in the sky. The one who is keeping a tally of all good deeds and will reward you handsomely, as long as you kiss his ass. I don't even have to elaborate on how retarded that sounds.

I[m going to take a bath. Retards don't bathe.

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Cigarette Smoking Man Funny May 25, 2025 at 1:57 am 0 0