The Man, the Maid

Please, for the love and sake of our great relationship, pick up after yourself.

Bring the dishes into the kitchen. When you make dishes, put them at least near the sink. Scrape them, then leave them for me to handle. I do all of the dishes, I just need you to help me help you.

Turn off the lights before you leave the house or after you’re done being in the room! I promise we don’t need all three of your room lights, the den lights, front room lights, and kitchen lights on. ***The sun is out***. Open the curtains.

I pay more than my share of the electricity bill because you wanted a pet that needs heat and light 24/7.

Please pick up the laundry room, don’t leave your things everywhere (floor, hampers, on the machines, in the scullery sink, on the stairs, in the garage outside the laundry room).

Finish your projects and pick up like you promised you would. Don’t just leave your things on the chair like I can’t see it.

Pick up the kitchen bar. I’ve seen you organize things you care about incessantly. Pick up the den. You can fold a blanket and drape it over the couch.

I’m attracted to people who put in the effort to make our space meaningful and functional DAILY. It is not a weekly, or even biweekly thing where I ask you to take out trash or empty the dishwasher.

I ask once or twice a month and they still get ignored.

I’ve done the groceries for the last… six months? Floors for the last year and a half? I’ve weeded the front yard, filled the bird feeders, tended the flower beds, washed the house linens. You live in a B&B. You get hotel-level towel service.

I make uneven sacrifices that leave me with no energy to care for myself. You need to see that. I don’t want to ask. You’re aware of the care I put into our house, why can’t you… human-see-human-do?

You get to sit on the couch, scrolling, eating popcorn. You left your bowl and unfinished glass (after I plead with you to have any water today) on the couch. I had just finished the goddamned dishes.

I asked you to bring in the three empty water glasses from your room. You said you could do it tomorrow morning.

You’re a full time student overwhelmed with academics, sure. I am too. Doesn’t mean that excuses me from wanting a clean space and to spend time with you. It takes two to make that happen.

Yes, I’m upset with you. No, I’m not saying anything because you’re stoned and too afraid to take out the trash when it’s dark.

It’s all so lame, man. I’ve been the primary housekeeper for months. You *scold* me when I don’t do something, leave a dish out, or make a mistake.

Goodnight. See you tomorrow. The air fryer might need to be washed before you say good morning.

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Tree Relationships January 30, 2026 at 12:12 am 0 0