Ranting

Ranting is wrong, i think i know exactly where i messed up, and even if i don't i can find out. And i did up to a greater point. Mostly improper sacrifices, half-assed done deeds. I live because i hope this life is what i hope for, usually it points to me that it is not, yet i somehow push trough, somehow keeping my expectations despite the "evidence" thinking in a way to find a perspective which reconciles the "evidence" with what i hope my life to be. But life goes on while the bridge is not built yet, and the "evidence" still pointing to the contrary. And somehow having to believe that the bridge will be built. Believe by doing what needs to be done for ... properly.

Even improper sacrifices yield results, but they don't get me where i hope to be. I don't know where do i find joy in all this, but i do from time to time (maybe that's when i do something properly far in between). Ive done things I'm proud of, there's nothing i can do with it except it being done, its as if its not enough. I seem to be like a rock, despite moving i am stuck. Maybe this "rant" is the perspective which bridges the "evidence" and hopes and might not be that I'm not good enough just that I'm not good.

What kind of character would humanity be able to have if it couldn't throw it all away for something.

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anonymous Other November 12, 2026 at 11:34 am 0 0