My sister gives me anxiety

Okay so I have an older sister who gives me soooo much anxiety I hate her atp. She has bipolar and has to take meds and she stopped taking them a few years ago and there was this whole blow out fight where she ended up leaving home. She was the person I was closest to in my house and all of a sudden I am dead to her? She said we were all dead to her. I am not sure all that happened but she had a physical fight with our bro then was saying we don’t help her around the house and she couldn’t remember the last time she was happy. I was tried to help around more, even tho I was already doing stuff. I even asked her if she wanted me to cook on some of the days a week and she said no. I tried to understand and then a few days later she wouldn’t talk to me and a month later she was leaving. I have issues w trust and I have this huge fear of abandonment. Like I will one day be by myself alone without any of my family around. I was so upset about her leaving cus she was like my person or whatever and I am not trying to say her feelings weren’t valid or anything but I had my own problems too and her saying I was no longer her sister? That hurt on a whole other level. Add to the fact that EVERYTHING I like reminded me of her. I couldn’t watch my favorite shows, play games, read books, or watch a funny video without thinking about her. I shared more about myself than anyone else to her and that hurt that she said I wasn’t my sister.

Anyways, fast forward a year or two and she comes back. Our other sister and a few nieces and nephews came over and she was with them. She was in our freaking house kekeing it up. I didn’t rlly speak to her but I was talking to the kids and.. ugh. Anyways fast forward a few days later she kept coming back over without them every few days. Then every FREAKING day. It gave me anxiety. I HATE when people just come over to my house. Like home is my place where I can be comfortable. When other people who don’t live here come over I feel so much anxiety about it. And then she started talking about moving back. I was like whatever cool cus atp I really didn’t care and she can help paying bills. I started hating her when she was gone. So now she is back home for almost year now. She is on her meds and everything was cool. Now she just gives me anxiety every day now and I don’t really want her here. She gets attitudes almost every day about something or another and I think she expects me to be mad about these little things that bother her and it honestly don’t make me as angry. Things like internet problems, or how she doesn’t like her iPhone, or how my brother doesn’t fold the towels after washing them. I recommend the iPhone to her not really expecting her to want one and she found one in her price range and bought it. She doesn’t like how when she plays her game sometimes she swipes up and it makes her go out of the game. I told her to A) use guided access or B) take her phone to a pawnshop and sell it to buy a Samsung phone. She says she doesn’t like guided access bc it is doing too much and she doesn’t take it to the pawnshop. Every time she mentions that freaking iPhone I get annoyed now. About the internet… for some reason my brother plays a heavy duty game and it kicks u off the internet. Like we can’t watch streaming videos or anything like that on streaming sites (yet, Netflix, Disney plus….). He only plays for like an hour a day when he gets home from work. It doesn’t bother me because I usually just read. It’s just annoying things she complains about that to me personally honest don’t rlly matter to me, and she expects me to get angry and she gets this attitude abt it and it gives me anxiety.

I miss my sister. I truly do. I just don’t trust her enough to share what I like with her anymore. On my part it is like this false animation or what we had before she left. Now I hold back my feelings more. The things I’ve learned I like while she was away, I don’t share. We have not cleared the air and it just feel like suffering under memes and smiles. I don’t trust her not to abandon me after sharing my no likes and dislikes anymore. It will hurt me if she abandons me the same way and it will make me hate her more if I can’t enjoy my like anymore because of her. Does that make me a bad person for no caring about the things that bother her? If she has a complaint I try to offer solutions and she just wallows in her anger.

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anonymous Home October 30, 2025 at 2:46 am 0 0