Rant Rampage Web Site · My husband farts in his sleep

My Husband is the worst!! His farts are so bad a fucking vulture wouldn’t eat his ass!! I slowly moved into my baby’s room and here I am stuck in his fart fog , because he decided to sleep with us tonight WTF , I’m so disgusted and I’m contemplating getting my daughter and I a pair of gas mask or a sleep apnea machine, but, he’d probably melt the mask with his toxic weapon of destruction.....what if the stench kills us,? would that show up in our autopsy reports ?? ??????? Da fuccccccccc. BTW You guys made my night a lot better because you all are so freaking funny....

anonymous 7 years ago

6 years and 2 of living together. Its just gotten worse. I will nwver forget the first time it happened. I was walking tjrough a cobble stone city in my dream with a crowd of people. We all suddenly started wondering what the awfil smell was. Well I woke up and realized Dave let out anoter death bomb in the bedroom. Mid summer. Fan on. Gag worthy. It was the worst of the firzt 2 years of dating. I was almost asleep to ight and Bam. SILENT DEATH BLOWN INTO MY FACE. He prefers a fan on at night and Im waking up every week from this. Its fucked. He says its healthy ans google says otherwise. This thread os providing peace but I honestly have never had such a stinky partner and its such a piss off. How to sleep. How to share a bedrokm. This I do not know. So here I am telling my story. Lighting a joint. Fml.

anonymous 7 years ago

Your Husband(s) is probably eating to many carbohydrates! Diet modification should be your first step. Look up what foods causes gas and have him keep a food diary or you keep a food diary on him.There are also activated charcoal pads that can be placed in the underwear directly over the buttocks to help absorb some of the smell. There is also the possibility that he has a gastro intestinal problem such as irritable bowel syndrome, inflammatory bowel disease (Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis) celiac disease, etc...
He may want to see a doctor and have a colonoscopy. The Dr also maybe be able to prescribe antibiotics that can help e.g. Flagyl, Ciprofloxacin, Rifaximin, etc... These drugs will help kill some of the bacteria in the colon which is responsible for the disgusting smell of the gas. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but, Gas-X is not going to destroy the smell or the gas itself! Gas-X helps take a little gas bubbles and turn them into large gas bubbles, that makes it easier for your digestive track to pass them! Please don't let this issue ruin your marriage our relationship! Talk to your partner to help him/her understand that this is a serious problem for you! I would imagine most Partners would be understanding and willing to seek help if they knew how serious it was and how close it was to coming to ruining their relationship! If all else fails sleep in another bedroom..
Also ladies please remember your shit stinks too, as do your farts!!!

anonymous 7 years ago

I will neve ever go down on him again . The more weight he gains the worse the farting is ... he reunited it ..

anonymous 7 years ago

Oh Lord I can’t even have sex with my husband as everytime I look at him I think of how much he farts at night and I feel disgusted . This hurts me as I love him so much but he does it so much . I cant stand it ..

anonymous 7 years ago

My boyfriend is funky. I mean we have an extremely open relationship. We’ve pooped with the door open. I’ve been in there while he’s shitting just having a conversation. We pop each other’s pimples. No big deal. However. He is always farting. Always. I fart too. But he is out of control. And the worst part is that usually when they’re big and loud it’s because he has to go shit. So it’s so frustrating to see him sitting up taking gassy shits in the public areas.

anonymous 7 years ago

3:30 am and yet here I am awake with a scarf tied around my face again. That is pretty much the way I am every night now. I married a f#% fart machine. What pisses me off is his lack of empathy for what Im going through. He claims his doctor told him its natural to expel while he sleep so apparently the problem is my ability to cope. He won't change his diet because he honestly doesn't think this is an issue. I am sleep deprived and fed up. I've even considered putting piece of tape over his blow hole but it would probably melt. I'm not even sexually attracted to him at this point. He honestly looks like Shrek to me now. #%/@$

anonymous 7 years ago

Sooooooo glad I am NOT alone !!!!!!! He farts all night long it sounds like popcorn popping !!! And the stench !!!OMG I am actually reconsidering his proposal!! Not sure i can deal with this my entire life. Even if I wanted to get him back he wears a Cpap at night so he can’t smell anything. ??????. Dear Lord help us !

~ Farted On in Va
~OMG my mouth was open
~his ass was touching mine pretty sure I? felt the vibration
~this cant be normal
~he is rotting inside

anonymous 7 years ago

Oh gosh.... a wife on the couch here...8:38pm. He’s the breadwinner, so I let him have the bed. You already know why I’m here...There must be a special place in heaven for us! LMAO

anonymous 7 years ago

OMG....Isn't it disgusting? I'm not even talking about the sound, it's the absolutely putrid SMELL! I wake up gagging.No joke.I keep a can of air freshener on my night stand and lift up the covers and spray his ass.He gets mad cuz its cold.Oh well.

anonymous 7 years ago

I typically find farts disgusting and so not funny but I must admit your post had me laughing so hard tears were pouring. The way you phrase things is just hilarious! You should be a writer! Sorry your in the recliner now. I agree he should stay there tomorrow and you will def want to wash the sheets out. Lol. Unfortunately I am up aggrevated about the same thing. He's disgusting! I am up late eating a midnight snack in bed and he starts in. Ugh needless to say I threw out my snack then he decides to lay on his back with knees in the air and guess what???!! Let's them rip even worse. Like shook the bed. So i refuse to even be under the cover with him. Im on top of the comforter freezing under two thin fleece blankets. Ugh....this is just disgusting!

anonymous 7 years ago

Very funny post, i can't stop laughing. I am single sleep alone. i think and like to believe that if a fart smells really bad that mean the person has poop in their system waiting to exit

anonymous 7 years ago

Same ladies, its 1:50am I have to be up for work at 6am and I'm lay on sofa with a thin blanket,freezing! All because my husbands arse is vile! Every night I have to put up with it! I too am sick of it keeping me awake and stinking the whole home out! He does it when he's awake too,day and night! And he often doesn't say anything to me,waits for me to smell it! Its borderline abuse lol well Im not lying here freezing! I'm putting the heating on,he will wake up hot then n moan about the cost but I'm not going cold,why should I!?I'm going to have to face work tomorrow feeling completely and utterly knackered! ??

anonymous 7 years ago

Omg. It's 11:57 PM. I have been trying to sleep since 9:00, but to no avail, due to my husband's horrid farts.

You know the ones.... Silent, but fucking deadly.

I could absolutely swear that something crawled up inside his asshole and died. Something rotting into a putrefying cesspool of stench,... Seeping through the sheets and then the comforter... Wafting silently up to my unsuspecting nose.

I forgave him the first 3-4 times. However, I can't help but dart my dagger eyes at him, aiming for the back of his head while he sleeps and farts with his back towards me.

I know he's sleeping, and it's an uncontrolled happening, practically shitting your sheets in your sleep without knowing...But, for the love of all things Holy, what the fuck did he eat today?!?!! He was off today, we were home together all day, and we both ate the same things all day long. And I don't have gas like he has. At all. Thank God.

Every time I began to drift off to sleep after the smell of death had disappeared from the air, I was almost to that happy place when, BAM!!! ?????????? I smell it again. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WHY CANT YOU STOP FUCKING FARTING!?!?!? I'd seriously rather lay next to roadkill. I'm convinced a dead possum that's been baking on a highway for 5 days would smell better than this man in bed next to me.

I start shaking out the covers, to air the fart out faster, when I realize that it's not a good idea. It just intensifies the stench. Even Sasquatch would be offended by the smell. When the next silent blast of fury came, I tried tucking the covers very tightly around him and then me, hoping that the smell would stay contained, but alas, the sweet draft of sewage filtered through the covers and made its way to my olfactory nerve.

Begrudgingly, I got out of bed, while muttering, "You FUCKING reek!" and made my way out of the little room of horrors. He should be the one getting up. Not me! I didn't do anything wrong!

I'm sitting in the recliner in the living room typing this little rant as, I'm sure, his farts are burning through his asshole while he blissfully snores,... like acid eating through metal.

However, I am at peace. In silence and clean air. This might not be so bad, after all. But, tomorrow night, it will be he who sleeps in the recliner. Which reminds me, I may want to wash the sheets tomorrow. I'm sure there will be holes burned into them. Ehh, it's time to buy some new ones anyway.

anonymous 7 years ago

Umm, people really can't help farting in their sleep. The muscles relax. If it's really awful, take them to a doctor to figure out why it smells so bad. It's unkind to kick them out of bed because they have a human digestive tract.

anonymous 7 years ago

We all got woken up by the smell of our man's ass, got pissed, grabbed the phone and googled -my husband's farts smell so bad it wakes me up - this is hilarious!!! 3:00 am here! ?? We start angry and end up laughing knowing we're not the only ones!

anonymous 7 years ago

My husband does this too and he doesn't even apologise! He once did a quite musical one. It makes me so mad.

anonymous 7 years ago

Omg! my Husband Farts all night long and its the grossest thing in this world! Smells like something crawled up his

anonymous 7 years ago

It's almost midnight and I searched my husband's farts wake me up at night because he farted so loud, he woke up our baby that I spent an hour getting to sleep. He thinks it's no big deal because he doesn't have to get the baby back to sleep. He wakes me up every week farting throughout the night. I have to sleep on the couch to get sleep on many occasions. He says it means he's healthy and I'm being a weirdo and a bitch for saying anything about it. He tells me the smellis natural and it will go away... He can't smell so it doesn't bother him. I'm so disgusted and sick of him not trying or caring to fix the situation that I want my own bedroom. I think he's disgusting on purpose because he doesn't like me and he doesn't care if I get bad sleep, as long as he's taken care of.

anonymous 7 years ago

Hilarious! Sat reading this thread in bed - trying to contain total hysterics and he dares to complain my giggling is keeping him awake! Touché Mr Stink! Absolutely vile!

anonymous 7 years ago

1:05 AM - every night I go to bed and think maybe this will be the one nite that I don’t get the sewer shit storm cloud to rain down on me and maybe not the have the asshole spewage alarm clock in the morning . This this the kicker though my husband is my wife and yes I am female too and she held it in while we were dating . But now she says her tummy hurts and rips out the most vile sewage cloud every nite and she also won’t admit that she even goes number 2 . I don’t know what to do - I don’t want to sleep in separate rooms but I shouldn’t have to bath in toxic fumes every nite . I feel everyone’s pain on this post and the suffering.

anonymous 7 years ago

It’s 536 am And here I am on this thread because I typed in my husband farts in his sleep. ???? it never usually Has a smell but it is so loud. My god I think a re-enactment of desert storm is happening in there. The sound literally wakes me instantly from a dead sleep..,, every single fart. Not once a night.... several times a night jolted awake from his booty blaster. Love him and I get that it’s part of life but damn it I just wanna sleep without being woke up every night like this.

anonymous 7 years ago

My wife doesn't fart at all. Man here for the pure comedy gold too lol!!!!

anonymous 7 years ago

Lol this is a serious issue. I’m on the couch pissed too. Funniest thread I’ve ever read, despite how awful this fart hell on earth is.

anonymous 7 years ago

It is currently 5:10 am and I’ve been up for about an hour. I now have a habit of waking up around this time because of his. Funky. Ass. So I go to the garage for a smoke break and I come back to see that he’s moved to my side of the bed. I’m like okay fine, won’t be a bitch. I’ll take the edge. I lay down. On my phone. He turns over and his ass is now facing and touching me. In my mind, I run through today’s meals. Potatoes :( Eggs :( Biscuits :( Double bacon hamburger with cheese :((( gelato :((((( BUT I WAS HOPING FOR A MIRACLE. And then he let it loose. One loud ass, vibrating fart. I felt it against my ass cheek, y’all :( and the smell was soooooo vile. It literally smelt like the inside of the devil’s asshole. I felt so violated.

I’m now in the living room and I don’t even want to go back. This is something that happens every single night. And don’t even get me started on the massive, watery shits he takes with the bathroom door open while I’m trying to sleep. What makes this even worse is that this is because of his diet. I wish he would listen to me when I tell him that dairy is fucking him up. And he knows it and just doesn’t care enough to do anything about it. I’m tired y’all :(

anonymous 7 years ago

My farts are really stinky and i fart at least 3 or 4 times at night. If i can't fart, my tummy feels so uncomfortable i cannot fall asleep. My partner always calls me disgusting when i fart and i can hear the tone of disgust. We don't even have sex anymore because a spouse with smelly farts is not sexy. Should i just sleep in another room or ask my partner to sleep in another room? I don't think it is fair that i am expected to leave the room whenever i need to fart. I won't ever be able to fall asleep.

anonymous 7 years ago

My husband frats all night to. I am so sick of it. He makes me want to throw up all over his dank face.

anonymous 7 years ago

So funny, I haven't been sleeping well for months and months. Tonight I actually found myself getting sound sleep until 2am when my boyfriends gas started. No sound. PUTRID STENCH. It has been so bad it woke me everytime it saturated the air in our room. He sleeps on the side with the AC so it blows over to my side. I woke up 5 times from the smell tonight, I got so pissed and frustrated I grabbed a blanket and went to the couch to sleep, but I'm wide awake now. Not mad at him because I know he can't help farting in his sleep but extremely frustrating when trying to get good sleep but wake up choking. I find myself chuckling as I wrote this but was so pissed when I left the room. Glad I am not the only one suffering silently but deadly ??

anonymous 7 years ago

i like to read your comments...i just cant stop laughing,especialy when i heard the lady say that something crawled into her husbands ass and died:))
crazy people
im a male,im comming from a country where farting is disquisting,but now with internet all over the world,we do begin to see it as something natural
im not married,but i dont do that with my girlfriends near by never
so please,everybody who sees it as normal thing to do,dont do it
it sucks and it stinks

anonymous 7 years ago

My husband farts all night its fucking nasty I kick him and tell him to go to the rest room I don't even want to have sex I can't even sleep at nights when he doing this and keeps going and going I wonder if he did it from the back with someone this shit stinks hells bad idk what to do anymore he does this every night this is not normal I even put blankets on his ass it helps a little bit I rather kick him make know the his farting and to go check himself

anonymous 7 years ago

Mine does it too. I'm getting to the point where not only am pissed that he's so farty, but that he talks, or even breathes.

anonymous 7 years ago

I'm so laughing right now! Loved all you're Comments !
I've just walked into our bedroom nearly passed out....opened the windows wedged the door full open. ..then Hell woke him up & chucked him in exile!
the spare room:).....poor bugger had been asleep 3 hours ...
I've been married 23 years & really can't stick this anymore....
Why should I have to gag & inhale that. ...:(
He suffers from IBS but never goes too the Dr's or takes tablets ....so he can suffer on his own....
I So want too be single for the sake of my sanity sleep & nose !:)

anonymous 7 years ago

I say eat them up. There is nothing better than having a fart rip into your mouth.

anonymous 7 years ago

Hahaha yup. I googled it. Ended up here. He does not fart or even burp in front of me which is great and all, up until all night long he has these silent but deadlies that seriously make me sick. I actually started not liking my favorite air freshener because I spray it at night so much I now associate the smell with his rancid ass ?? What the frig is THAT?! Its awful. Mine is the sensitive type so if I were to mention it hed be embarrassed and if I were to sleep elsewhere he'd be offended. I've tried once and it was just uncomfortable and didn't help. He bought gas x. It didnt do a thing. I can't help but get angry. It wakes me up, I usually have to get up out of bed because its so ferocious. Then I can't get back to sleep. I swear one of us will end up on an episode of snapped over this and the rest of us will be like yes girl, we know, we understand.

anonymous 7 years ago

My husband is the same he farts in his sleeps and it pisses me off it's silent but violent I have my head inside the duvet and next minute my husband has farted I quickly take my head out of the duvet it stinks so bad I'm fed up what he suppose to do shall I take him to the doctors.

anonymous 7 years ago

This is so funny I googled I cant sleep my boyfriends farts smell so bad ahhaahah. Seriously though im on the cold ass air mattress in the spare room right now. Happy to be breathing in fresh, pure air but im pissed because I want to go to sleep in my bed. Im lying in my bed, trying to fall asleep and this horrid onion smelling fart engulfs my damn face. My coughing wakes up my boyfriend who apologizes and feels bad. The smell never really leaves but then it comes back stronger. wtf!!!!! God. Its 1:30am. Too late for this shit. I feel bad for him because he has work early and I dont want to wake him up, but i might just have to drag the air purifier into the room. Its so ghastly I cant find peace in my own bed. Ugggh, okay ladies. Time to get off the blow up mattress and reclaim my bed.

anonymous 7 years ago

My husband does this all day and night. It's disgusting and I hate it. He is most disrespectful . He thinks it's funny but my daughter and I just don't know what to do anymore. Is there a way to clog his ass??

anonymous 7 years ago

Currently on my couch now laughing at these comments. My fiance has been farting all night and I've gotten zero sleep. I think something is wrong because this super smelly bad gas started recently. I've been living with him for a year and he did NOT have this problem. Reading these has made me feel better, but what have your solutions to this problem been? :(

anonymous 7 years ago

1:02am here. My husband stinks! He's so gross. He farts all the time. And I know the fucker can hold them in because he never farted in front of me when we first started dating...

anonymous 7 years ago

I really don't even have to tell you guys why I'm here, you all have said it for me. It's 4:33am, and I'm on the couch smh.

anonymous 7 years ago

I hate silent but sewage smelling deadly husband fucker farts! I've informed him now for the 3rd time in the middle of the night that he's farted towards me while I'm spooning him and he said he couldn't smell it?! Wishing we were sleeping together for the first time. This never happened 29 years ago. Thank you for the air freashener tips!! What's a sleepless, gasless gal to do? His svinkter muscle needs a work out! I haven't any other solutions. It's his bed too. I just hope the smell eventually wakes him up too. Signed spoonless gasless gal gone frustrated from freaking farts!

anonymous 7 years ago

12:30 am. I had a dream a homeless man approached me and smelled like shit, and I awoke to the very smell. My husband's rotted sewer ass. I literally just googled " husband has dog farts". I'm disgusted. I want to vomit. It burns my nose hairs. I'm in our spare bedroom writing this. FML

anonymous 7 years ago

I love this thread and I love finding my people.

This is horrible!!! I try to kick him out to the lounge because it's so bad and he just tells me to leave. I definitely think the smellee should leave not the smeller

anonymous 7 years ago

Well people. I have just stormed downstairs with a poxy sheet and pillow because of my husband. We both had curry tonight yet he's farting like a trooper and I'm not and let me tell you his farts fuking pong! I kept getting this horrible whiff of what smelled like a dead hedge hog that had been decomposing for at least a week. Turns out it was just his scruffy smelly ass! Makes my blood boil at how stinky it is. I'm fuming just writing this. No matter what he eats he fuckinh stinks. Yeah it's off putting he sometimes even does it when I go down on him the vile crettin! I know it's natural and can't be helped but perleeeeeeeze for the love of god I wish he would go and get himself checked out as no1s ass can be as bad as his. He's laid there snoring away loving life in his crappy little dream and I'm literally not sleeping, choking on his mouldy as fuck ass! Gona try sleep down here guys! Cheers for the laughs! Goodnight god bless x

anonymous 7 years ago

Yep. Googled "my husband farts in his sleep." Sat here reading this thread, laughing and crying. It is so damn disgusting and the stench literally wakes me up ( if the machine gun rattling doesn't). I don't even want to have sex with him anymore. Something that rank lives inside his body. I don't want him entering mine. I can't believe this first world problem has me feeling despair, but here we are. I know I'll have another bad night while sewage leaks from his anus. And he will be, as usual, completely oblivious. Our dog sleeps with us. Even the dog gets up and leaves the room. Yeah, a creature that eats shit can't stand my husband's rank ass.

anonymous 7 years ago

Another victim here! Its 1:39 AM and I Woke up twice because of that horrible smell turned on a extra fan.

anonymous 7 years ago

I say get him back. Have a lot of tofu that night before bed and voila let them rip, when he complains, just say that is natural.

anonymous 7 years ago

12am here and as everyone else has done I have googled my husband farts in his sleep. I have never known how anyone can shoot them out so loud and forceful in their sleep. I thought they were supposed to be quiet. After 25 years of Marriage i am over the smelly fart at night...

anonymous 7 years ago

Another one on the sofa my only problem is its the room next to the bed room.and im not sure its the smell coming from the bedroom or the smell of his ass is stuck up my bloody nose. I could cry sometimes. Im the one that ends up on the sofa when its his ass thats the problem and like the rest of you he thinks its funny but it really isnt its got me to the point sometimes should we just sleep in separate rooms permanently which I really dont want to do

anonymous 7 years ago

My partner gets up at 6.20 everyday to poo! On the dot! So all night he stinks. I just can't believe a small can wake you up. So I end up waking up at 6.20 everyday. He goes back to sleep after and I can't. I'm also pregnant and the smell used to make me feel so sick but now WOW I can't cope! He takes tablets most nights before bed when he knows it's going to be bad. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. I often have to get out of the room.ive told him I googled it and a man died from his own farts once! He was in a room with no ventilation. Google it guys! So actually I say it's dangerous.its winter now and keeping the window open is difficult as it's freezing. Soon we'll have a baby and I can't have them freeze! He'll have to go in the spare room. Honestly think the baby poo will smell nicer than his ass

anonymous 7 years ago

My husband does fart at night too...I wake up gagging and open the door or window in the middle of the night to get some air. Got air freshener to in my night stand, but nothing helps...my husband just stinks.

I start hating him for it as he doe not gives a damn.

anonymous 7 years ago

2.14am on the sofa same ! Why are they so disgusting? And why do they think it's natural, I said tonight, " if wind is offensive eventually something will happen cause your body is telling you something"
I don't think it's normal at all, I am sick of being exhausted while he snores in his own stink !
They will all end up on stomach meds it's acid building up from bad diets or irritable bowels or something, I believe mine gets his from white wine, but he's to selfish to stop drinking it. Then they are all selfish cause they won't go fart in a toilet the horrible creatures, funny how they have manners before the ring goes on, 12 years later ??

anonymous 7 years ago

Stopped sleeping with my husband 3 years ago. Between the snoring and farting at night, I could not stand it anymore. Apparently, I snore also, but no farting. His farts are not smelly but man are they LOUD! I mean, I think he could wake up the neighbors they are so loud. What surprises me is that his loud farting does not wake him up! Anyways, 3 years later, I must say, I love sleeping by myself!! The only downside, we stopped having sex too. No sex for years. Honestly, at 55, I don't really miss it! Now it's just me and the dog in our bed. :)

anonymous 7 years ago

Lmao am in the same shit with my husband farting all the dam time am so sick of it and it's annoying like shit... Tbh I don't know what to do I can't sleep good I have to be waking up by 2:50am n I could never sleep because of his dam fart.... I need help... I swear I think tomorrow I will buy a tree air freshener n put it inside his brief maybe that will help the smell idk but I have to try something....

anonymous 7 years ago

i absolutely love farting. im a guy, mid 40s, married, 2 kids. i dont care if my wife complains! i like to waft it directly into her face while she sleeps sometimes, just so she can inhale it. ill never stop farting as loud as i can.

fart 7 years ago

Anyone do dutch ovens anymore? Pulling the blanket over your spouses head when you fart is one of the greatest joys of life.

anonymous 7 years ago

His farts smell like boiled eggs, why can’t a bacon smell come out instead

anonymous 7 years ago

This pregnant nose just can’t take it.

I’m right in the middle of the first trimester with my first baby, morning sickness at its PEAK. My husband has always been a freaking fart machine at night but lately it throws me to the point of sprinting to the bathroom to throw up.

It’s 4am and here I am desperately googling cures for excessive farting because OMG.

I’m so tired in general and I’m SO OVER being woken up 12 times a night by the sound of his asscheeks clapping together like thunder and the smell straight up slapping me in the face.

Praying for peace in these hard times.

anonymous 7 years ago

Punch him real hard in the upper arm when he does this. That will get him to stop

anonymous 7 years ago

All these bloody women complaining about their husbands farts! Get a life and shut up. my wife used to complain about my farts, but i ignored it and eventually she stopped. plus, i dutch oven her if she complains! Sometimes I like to fart in her food while she isnt looking or fart in her handbag or something. the funniest is when i fart into her glass, stir the drink around then serve it to her! after she takes a few tips i then reveal that she is drinking my shitty farts!

Charles Fappington 7 years ago

My boyfriend has been habitually farting lately in his sleep. At first I thought it was a one off type of thing. It’s becoming more and more common to wake out of a dead sleep to the stench of his gas. It is FOUL too. Like I’m shocked it could smell so disgusting because he is athletic and healthy. The fan just blows it around too. But the worst part is, he will drift off to sleep while I’m still reading in bed, and I’ll smell the fart and wake him and tell him to smell, and he pretends he sniffs around and says he can’t smell it! Anyone could smell that! It’s unmistakable and breathtaking(in the worst way possible)! Is he in denial or too embarrassed to admit it? If he seriously can’t smell it then that’s a whole other issue in itself and is even more concerning. UGH. I know he can’t help it,but Such a turnoff.Every night it continues to happen I get more and more grossed out. I’m currently in the spare room.

Sally 7 years ago

4:30 am, his farts have woken me up yet again. Before I was pregnant I guess I slept through them, but now I’m a light sleeper and my sense of smell has intensified. I’ve lit candles, I’ve kept air freshener near the bed and none of it can truly cover his stench. Whenever the smell seems to start to go away, a worse fart crawls out of his butt like something died. Currently typing this from the guest room, I’m glad I am not alone.

Anon 7 years ago

Love my wife’s fart. I usually sleep close to her ass to smell it.

Alpha 7 years ago

Third night in a row on the couch. He says he can't it but eating an entire pizza before bed is probably not best idea. I decided to try to go up to sleep. Nope smells like a rotting trash set on fire. To make things worse he doesn't notice the smell and I'm newly pregnant. The kicker-he knows I became unattached to my ex partly because of his non stop farting...and his didnt smell half as bad!

Samantha 6 years ago

I AM WEAK XD

Ki 6 years ago

11:51 pm...I am in the spare bedroom after 2 hours of loud snoring and at least 4 not so lovely farts from my fiancé. I knew I wasn’t the one who deals with this because I look it up at least once a month after being so overwhelmed by it. We have talked about it, he doesn’t think he needs a sleep study, cpap, or any changes in his diet. He tried nose strips once but took them off. He has sympathy for me and feels bad even though I know it’s not his fault but nothing has changed. At this point I’m so disgusted he continues to sleep naked which grossed me out with the farting even more, I wash the sheets every time I’m aware of his farting. I don’t stay in the room long enough to wait for the smell. As soon as it happens I jump out of bed and leave. I just can’t..what frustrates me the most is we have been together almost 5 years and I honestly don’t remember the first 3 years like this! It almost makes me believe he can withhold but clearly our “honeymoon” period is long over and he is preparing me for marriage. I’ve already decided the next thing to do is get a bigger bed and put some distance/ wall of pillows between us. If anyone has tried that and is getting good results let me know! If not I’m going to get him a butt plug and talk to our dr about his snoring.

anonymous 6 years ago

Same here. I am up at 1am because my husbands ass stinks so bad I honestly thought someone threw a gas bomb in our room. This happens every night. And I wake up at 5am to go to work. He eats all kinds of food. I love him but something tells me divorce might happen. I can’t keep going day after day with no sleep. It’s disgusting. I thought about ordering a but plug, but the son of a bitch likes it kinky he would enjoy something up his ass. This is ridiculous. 50 more years of smelling his ass!!@&!$

anonymous 6 years ago

I'm a tough girl and can deal with a lot of grossness, however I was woken by my partner's gas the first time it happened a few years back and I literally got up and went to the bathroom and threw up! For a few years it wasn't bad, and then last summer it became absolutely unbearable. There are some fart smells that are unpleasant, okay...deal with it. But I swear this is unnatural! I'm actually worried something is really wrong, and glad he's soon going to get a complete colonoscopy. Hopefully the gas will stop since all the bacteria will be flushed out from all the prep prior to the procedure and he can 'start over.' But legit, I am concerned they will find something bad--I hope it is not polyps causing a blockage or Crohns or Celiac disease or something. This is just not within the realm of normal :(

anonymous 6 years ago

It's 5:29 am and here I am on the couch sheltering myself from the hailstorm of fart bombs that my husband released in the bedroom. It is cold, my supplies are running low, ( I left my snacks in the room) and my health has taken some damage. Inhaling the toxic fumes has taken a toll on my lungs. I am dumbfounded how my husband has the ability to keep a rotting animal in his bowels and slowly disperse the smell throughout the night, ensuring maximal damage to my olfactory nerve. The "green fog" is so thick I can smell the fumes even before I open the bedroom door. If anyone is receiving this message, please, send gas masks and more flaming hot cheetos, as my own bag has been tainted by the green fog.

Sheila 6 years ago

Omg. I’m literally dying laughing at this thread. I thought I was over reacting but clearly I’m not alone. I understand we all have gas but if mine smell horrid I feel the need to apologize and leave the room till I feel like I’ve fully emptied my stomach of the gas . My man on the other hand , is just nasty. He will go use the toilet then come in the room and rip a nasty fart . Like really? You couldn’t have done that In the washroom ? On top of his constant passing gas in his sleep, he snores. I honestly feel like I’m sleep deprived from the mix of them both. God help us all.

anonymous 6 years ago

I’m a nurse and I’ve smelt some pretty bad things in my life but my husbands ass is just brutal. I’ve ofyen wondered if divorcing someone over their gross body behaviours is okay

anonymous 6 years ago

...its 530am......like so many of us...i will die of gas inhalation tonight from bf"s ass...why god...why meee....

anonymous 6 years ago

Love this thread! To be perfectly fair, I fart, too. In my defense, I may be noisy, but I'm non-stinky. But, my boyfriend's deaf and I spoon him, so it's not like he's ever going to notice my occasional... outburst. Downside is, he's totally farted onto me, and silent as he was, I <<definitely>> noticed. We're moving in soon, but I demand separate bedrooms. Sorry, not sorry, hun. I need sleep.

C 6 years ago

I would dump him. Clearly this is making your life miseable, and whether it's his fault or not, there can be no romance with somebody like this, and I wouldn't even think of sex.

Just let him go now and find somebody new, because this relationship is already doomed.

anonymous 6 years ago

"I’m a nurse and I’ve smelt some pretty bad things in my life but my husbands ass is just brutal. I’ve ofyen wondered if divorcing someone over their gross body behaviours is okay"

Not only would divorcing be OK, but I recommend doing it right away.

You shouldn't have to put up with this, and it seems obvious that sooner or later you are going to walk out anyway. There is no shame in that, people can only tolerate so much, and I think you put up with this crap for too long already.

anonymous 6 years ago

Yes I looked up the same thing as the rest of you. My partners ass is ruining my life. I get no sleep. It’s so bad I have a can of air freshener beside the bed. I stuff blankets and pillows up his ass when the all night long bombs drop and it doesn’t work. They seep out and burn my nose and throat.

Is like listening to a machine gun all night long. And he snores which isn’t even the big deal. His own farts wake him up and he’s like a dog wondering what happened to his own ass. When I tell him he says I’m lying although his own ass woke him up. I get no sleep. I cannot function today or any other following day.

I am breaking up with him as this is unbearable and my health is suffering because he eats like a pig and doesn’t care enough to take gasex. I refuse to live like this. I have to get new pillows as they smell like ass from stuffing them up his ass to block the stench. My room smells like shit all night long. And he wonders why I won’t have sex with him.

He says this is a new thing and even went to an ass Dr. When we first met. I highly doubt that this is new as he says it is. He never even followed up with his ass Dr. After he got comfy with me. I truly believe he was taking stuff for the first while with me as he knows this is a problem then as soon as he got comfortable he just didn’t care anymore and unleashed the hounds.

Goodbye ass hole. I can’t believe I’m breaking up with someone because they have a rotten ass.

anonymous 6 years ago

5:51 am laying on the damn couch because something decided to crawl up my BF’s ass and die. This has been killing our sex life. We’re renovating so I can’t even sleep in the spare bedroom... banished to the couch. I literally sleep with a fan blowing on my face to make sure the smell passes quickly. Pretty sure I’ve caught a cold from shivering ice cold fan on my face but anything is better than the putrid smell coming from his ass right? RIP sexlife RIP REM sleep, you will be missed!!

anonymous 6 years ago

I’m dead. I died reading about the woman who lifts the covers and sprays air freshener directly onto her husband’s ass ... and he complains because it is cold. Another late night googler sleeping on the couch. But oh man this thread is hilarious and it’s good to know I am not alone.

Traci 5 years ago

Every single night I am woken up by the husband's arse. I came across this rant when I googled smell blocking nose clips. Thank you ladies, you made me laugh so hard and lifted my spirits by knowing I am not alone.

Sleepless 5 years ago

Omg I thought I was alone!
At first I didn’t min my husbands farting but now it’s out of control! Even when he’s deep asleep he is still farting.
He gets upset when I go and sleep on the couch cause he doesn’t want to sleep alone.
I mean I fart too but not nearly as bad as him so I don’t get it!

Sav 5 years ago

Yesterday was a bad day. I missed my alarm, so I was pressed for time and skipped breakfast. This had a domino effect that also saw me miss lunch. By the time I got home, I was really hungry, so I ate three chocolate & sea salt kind bars and three corn dogs. This was a truly horrible idea and, admittedly, I didn't consider the gastrointestinal consequences of my actions at the time because I was so hungry. Fast forward about four hours from that culinary misstep. My wife has literally left me. Slammed the bedroom door at 3:31AM to sleep on the couch. She told me my ass is "an affront to humanity and common decency and should be regulated for the good of the planet." It is 5:55AM now and I have to get up in 5 minutes. I have farted over forty times tonight and there is still substantial pressure in my abdomen. This morning's meeting should be interesting.

the dude 5 years ago

OMG I LOVE THIS!!! I thought I was alone, but omg my husband runs me out of the room and onto the couch most nights!!!

anonymous 5 years ago

Disgusting! I cant stand it. Its 4h35 and I'm under a separate duvet, sweating like crazy but cant take my head out because of the smell. I am considering moving to the spare bedroom permanently

anonymous 5 years ago

11:11 pm here and I literally just googled "husband's farts smell so bad." I'm stuck on the couch because as soon as I get anywhere near sleep I just get blasted with a stench worse than death itself. I haven't slept for 2 nights because our couch is not comfortable. I literally wake him up from gagging and he just lays there and farts more like he doesn't give a damn. Even my dog just jumped out of bed. I love him but it's at the point that I don't know what to do. I just want one good night of sleep. I'm so glad to see I'm not alone but also so annoyed that so many men are so selfish to not even care that they are gagging their own partners.

anonymous 5 years ago

I am relieved that I’m not alone! I’ve been living with my boyfriend for 3 years and he just started with this shit (quite almost literally) recently! I too am on this thread from googling this issue from the uncomfortable old sofa in my living room. I have been unable to sleep for weeks! It’s even gotten to the point of effecting my performance at work! Being the breadwinner, this concerns me. I can handle a guy not doing dishes, not vacuuming and I’ll put up with ALOT. Hell, I would trade picking up after him for this crap! This issue has become quite a deal breaker for me! Sleep has now become one of my favorite past times. It used to be my favorite thing ever after a long successful day on the job. Even when I try to sneak a nap when he’s not home, the smell almost seems to just stick to the air. I’ve lit incense that give me a headache because I’d rather have a headache than deal with this smell of rotting death. It helps for a good few minutes but then I wind up with a nasty mix of portable toilet at a summer music fest mixed with overly potent incense you’d find in a hipster store. A dead rat in a New Orleans bar smells less horrible than dealing with this every single night. I love him to death but it really does feel like it’s leading to a breakup. I have had enough with his hygiene issues as is and I try my best to be patient and hope he’ll get the memo. But when he’s not smelling up a room, he’s either not washing his hands or leaving shit stains in the toilet! (If he holds the handle down to flush all the damn way) grrrrr Sorry y’all. I’m just pissed! I wish he’d do me the courtesy of AT LEAST going in the other room or find a solution to this. We live in a tiny one bedroom apartment so even when I “escape” to the couch, I can still hear him and smell it as I walk by the room. Sometimes I’ll walk back into the room praying (almost literally) that it’s safe but jokes on me! If it is safe, it’s maybe for 5 minutes. My sex life is gone cause I can’t get turned on when the whole house smells like rotting ass. We used to get intimate daily. Now I can’t even consider the idea. I’m beyond sick of this. And the result is me being angry at everything! As if isolation/quarantine wasn’t hard enough in a tiny apartment! I swear he hates me! It makes me kind of happy that he didn’t propose yet cause honestly? I don’t think I can live like this for the rest of my life. Common courtesy is HUGE. I was always raised where you do that kind of thing in another room. Not directly in front of somebody.

Angry tired girlfriend 5 years ago

As most of you I searched this issue in google at around 4:10am...I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this as it's soooo easy for your partner to blame you for being over sensitive and you to actually believe that when you raise this issue with him. Honestly I feel beyond sickened because personally this is a manners issue, my ex of years who was a serial cheat never ever farted like my husband does day and night without much consideration for anyone in the room. I've been married for 8 years, three kids and another on the way and I'm drained from it...I feel like I'm doing a prison sentence for a crime I didn't commit! Ask him to go the GP for a check up, he will most certainly blame my cooking rather than see one! end of my tether with it all

Mama bear 5 years ago

4:17am.... stormed out of our bedroom with a pillow and blanket to the couch AGAIN. I’m so sick of it. I get sooo pissed when it happens that I wake him up and spray perfume all over him. I make sure he knows!! I’ve been telling him to go see a GI for years and to change his diet. He poops like 7 times a day too. It’s sooo gross. This thread is hilarious and is helping me be me a little less annoyed. Nice to know I’m not alone!

Anonymous 5 years ago

Ughhh 5.49am because I’m trying to look for solutions but no luck! I’m just frustrated and after reading all the comments I feel sorry for us. I do the same - wake him up by spraying lots of air freshener so he knows every time he lets a silent one out! But it doesn’t seem to bother him and he’s gone quite used to me just waking him up. He’ll even go to the bathroom because I force him to let out the rest of his gas but he just does that and goes back to sleep. Whereas I’ll be in bed feeling disgusted! The worst part is when tonight I said this never used to happen and now it’s almost every single night around this time and it’s starting to get really frustrating. His response? ‘It’s only a fart’
Like what?! It’s only a fart but if I ruined your sleep every night by waking you up with disgusting fumes I’m sure you wouldn’t be okay with hearing it’s only a fart! Why are men so disgusting. I remember when I had the problem of letting out loud farts in my sleep at the start of our marriage. It was so embarrassing and I wanted to stop that as he started mentioning it as a joke. Somehow I have managed to get that under control but guys don’t do anything. They don’t think of a solution or try to think hmm how can I not torture her!! They’ll let u live with it because MEN ARE INSENSITIVE

anonymous 5 years ago

My husband is a BIG fan of Mexican food and eats beans with practically every meal. He takes like 10 dumps a day (and doesn't use air freshener in the bathroom) and farts all day long. I don't know what is going on with his insides lately but the past few nights he has been farting ALL FRICKIN NIGHT in his sleep. They are not particularly loud but they smell absolutely disgusting! I'm undergoing chemotherapy right now and I'm nauseated as it is, but his moldy cheesy smelling goblin ass farts are making want to barf! I seriously think he had IBS or something but he puts off going to the doctors about it ugh. And its not just his farts that are gross, he burps REALLY loud, like unnecessarily loud, Not cute! I hope I can get some sleep tonight and the rot gut farts don't kill me...

Alysan 5 years ago

I’m sitting here googling how to stop my boyfriends farts, I’ve slept with the kids the
Past few nights and it is making me angry. It’s a sex killer and I don’t know what to do. He won’t put a butt plug up his butt. And I feel like that’s the only solution. I’m going to try spraying him in the face with air freshener when he does it. Because the candles aren’t working. I want to ask him to just stop eating. He’s obese and it would probably benefit him.

Anonymous 5 years ago

The worst is when he has the rotten egg farts

anonymous 4 years ago

Omg this has been hilarious! I’m not the only one?! I literally googled if there was something wrong with my bf because every night without fail he keeps me up with his dog shit smelling farts. It’s NASTY. I have to keep a air freshener beside the bed and spray it at least 3 times every night!! DISGUSTING!!

WE NEED TO INVENT A SCENTED MALE FART DIAPER. PERIOD. THERES NO OTHER SOLUTION! IT NEEDS TO BE HELD IN SOMEHOW!

anonymous 4 years ago

Yeah unfortunately there a r e people who fart in their sleep LMAAOOOOO

Monika 4 years ago

Now, we're on to farts. OMFG!!!! What is it with men once they turn 3/40? Snoring!! Farting!! Hocking and spitting!! I had to come downstairs because our bedroom smells like a paper mill! If you've ever been in close proximity to a paper mill, then you know that the smell is from HELL!!! Talk about a "cock block". How can anyone want to be intimate when the smells literally like shit and the smell is from your partner's ass?!?! Then, add the snoring.

FuckingOverIt 4 years ago

Install Ventilation Exhaust Fan!! Stop your suffering.

R 4 years ago

I have laughed so loud tonight! Me and my fiancé have been living together for a month. Lately, his putrid facts wake me up at 4am. We've talked about it and he swears I beat him in his back last night. I may have out of frustration and exhaustion. I know we're new to staying together. But he's been spending nights for over a year AND we had a trial run during the beginning of the pandemic by "living together" for a whole three months. And this NEVER happened! Now, it's almost every night and I'm ready for him to relocate to the couch or guest room. My sanctuary (bedroom) has been turned into a purgatory.

Karla 4 years ago

I love this! I don't think I have laughed so hard in quite a while! One question: does anyone count and smell your farts while you all sleep? Flatulence is considered a "greenhouse gas", methane. Should your spouse report you to the EPA as a danger to the new "Green Deal"? LOL!

Vladimir 4 years ago

What a medley of bitchy women! Well, your husband's farts aren't as bad as yours! No, really raunchy farts are not exclusive to men, my fiancee can clear a house with just ONE fart. I have to run outside to get a breath of uncontaminated air, she is sobad. Small wonder men die so young when we face that every hour of every day. I said to her one day" Gee, your voice has changed, but your breath is still the same". Exposure to such abuse should be a crime. I mean really, her farts could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon. Cows would run away from her. She farted in a crowded elevator, and everybody KNEW who did it. I have to borrow from a comedian to describe these farts: there is a fizz, a fizz-fazz, a one cheek sneak, a ripshit, a tear ass, and one that just goes "whoosh". I'm getting used to most, but the ripshit and tear ass/whoosh ones could rip your nose from your face. It is not the smell so much now, it is the burning of my eyes that bothers me so much. I'd like to sew that hole up until she blows up (al-la "George Carlin") like "Empress Minutae" when I am definitely NOT AROUND. I do not have a bug problem - wonder why? She should be regulated by the EPA, maybe causes "climate change", brain fog, and anything else that makes you limp, blind, have E.D., crossed eyes, trembles, and unexplained paralysis. I have no friends anymore, they dare not come within 1/4 mile of our house! So, stop complaining about your husbands or boyfriends, YOU fart too! Women farts can poison passion anytime. Ever get one in your face during passion? Great birth control! Time to find a small woman less than 100lbs, at least her farts would be scaled down substantially and I would not be so limp/damaged/sore/ itchy skin, and cross eyed. Ta-Ta!

Vladimir 3 years ago

Ugh. This is my boyfriend. All day long he farts and says “it’s natural” “I can’t help it.” And he wonders why I’m having a hard time getting turn on by him when the room smells like rotten eggs. Then he gets mad at me for leaving the room…. Guess he just wants me to sit in it??? Luckily I’m a hard sleeper so farting in his sleep won’t wake me up but at night he will get up and go to the bathroom with the door open and he will fart 5 times in a row wbu h definitely wakes me up. I’ve asked him multiple times to close the door so he doesn’t wake me up…. And he still won’t close it…. Found this thread cuz I csnt Fucking get back to sleep now … I have trouble falling back asleep. Never thought that farts would be leading to thoughts about breaking up. It’s the fact that he doesn’t even care enough to close the door so I don’t wake up. He would freek out on me if I accidentally woke him up for any reason

anonymous 3 years ago

In my work place the BIG BOSS rides the workers elevator every now and then to "show that he is one of us and his love for us" who do the work...HE FARTS when going up, down, pushing the buttons, gettin g on and getting of..We think he does this to dump the stench on us before going back to the big muckety muck top floor.

tina 3 years ago

Try the Dutch Oven!

NormanNormal 3 years ago

Make his funky ass wear a diaper. He's doing it on purpose. You lucky though. I fart directly in my wifes face when she is asleep. She described the odor as "horrific" and akin to rotten boiled eggs shoved up a decaying dead dogs ass. I can make her dry heave but my goal is vomit spray. I also have magazine rack on her side of the bed. I always use looking for a magazine as a excuse and claim accident. I used to straddle her face and fart directly up her nose but the jockeying into position often wakes her. I sharted in her nose one time and tearfully begged forgiveness using PTSD and sleep walking as my excuse. She knows she likes our little fart games because she never moved the magazine rack and often will suggest boiled eggs as a late night snack. "Maybe they will help your sleep walking, Wink Wink". Many women are closet fart sniffers by genetics. Her mother is a fart sniffer and she plays the same games. My father in law is 260 pounds of Crohns disease and the hideously smelling farts imaginable. She HAS projectile vomited, several times because sharts in the mouth are the norm. I worship that man and his ability to restore trust after even explosive diareeha was blamed on "her cooking. So, yeah, you are lucky, you just don't recognize it.

Freddy da gas man 3 years ago

My worship of him, is not only his ability to discreetly deliver his rancid night night nose candy but his ability to turn the table. She woke up screaming profanity and violent threats. After his lecture on proper sanitary cooking techniques and a sobbing relevation of awaiting lab results on potentially fatal food poisoning she admitted it was all her fault and pleaded forgiveness. The man is what legends are made of ! He shit in her face and she apologized for causing it. He put the cherry on top with "You were so viciously cruel to me with your baseless accusations, we're going to have to wait and see about any forgiveness. This time you just went too far." Like i said, the man is my hero !

Freddy da gas man 3 years ago

Before I met my husband, I didn’t know that it was possible to be awoken from a deep sleep by a smell. But the smell of his putrid arse rudely jolts me out of my sleep at least once a week and suffocate me. The smell is so bad that I can taste it and covering my nose and mouth with my hand just traps it in and makes me feel like vomiting. The smell is sooo rude that it honestly feels like he’s just taken a big diarrhoea shit straight onto my face. I always end up waking him up and kicking him out onto the couch, while furiously spraying the room with half a can of air freshener… which then mixes and melds with the diarrhoea shit smell to form a disgusting, flowery shitty combination. I can’t live like this anymore, he needs some probiotics or a bloody colon cleanse. Thank you ladies for your solidarity and sharing your stories about the horrors of dealing with our husband’s stanky arseholes.

Anon 2 years ago

ask foochi if it is true that the farts suffocate the bed bugs and the sheet cooties? To each is given a purpose.

GOLFER 2 years ago

Thank god I’m not alone. It’s got 3.30 and he’s happily in his stink pit. I’m in the kitchen as the living room is far too cold too sleep in. He wants to live with me but there’s no way I’m having my bed turned into a nuclear emissions dump zone. Woke him up and told him to go to the bathroom and he was like “I can’t force farts”. Honestly… I’ve heard lame excuses but this one is a near sackable offence. Ready for bottling it and making him smell it himself. Absolutely vile and seriously miss being single.

Anon 2 years ago

OMG. I feel so bad for you!!!

anonymous 2 years ago

all of you guys need to calm down. everyone farts and people fart the most when they are sleeping it is literally completely normal (im literally 14 its kind of sad you guys dont know this). if its really that bad just get some febreeze and keep it near you so you can spray it whenever he farts.

anonymous 2 years ago

My husband farts in his sleep

Rant Tags

Get Social and Share

108 Rant Comments

Post a Comment

Search Rants

Rant Categories

Recent Tags

Latest Rants

Recent Comments

Stay In Touch