My Grandma never appreciated me

I'm not that good in english so I thought venting up in my language can describe what I felt more yk?Its tagalog and y'all may not understand it I just really needed someone to talk to somehow or someone to listen
Hindi kami naging close masyado ng grandma ko since she was working in Manila to fend for her only child which is my fatherand since I was born we onpy got to see each other a few times. Those times felt special to me especially I only get to meet her whenever its holidays and we're not even sure if when can we meet again. Since then she was really caring and loving to us and I was looking up to her. Few years later she finally retired and decided to reside with us and as a teen/child I was eager to build a bond with her syempre lola ko yan and I want to have a loving relationship with my lola since I was raised being close with my relative and she literally is MY GRANDMA Malamang gusto ko sya pakisamahin and will be one of my motivations pero nung dumating sha parang she never noticed me, worse is never ko pa syang naka bonding ng seryoso haha. Whenever I try to build a connection between the two of us she looked like she was never interested AND SHE REALLY WAS. Nakikita nya lang ako pag may kailangan siya, nakikita nya lang ako pag nagkakamali ako. And when I try to fix my mistakes it felt like she never believed I would change and she never really tried to be with me. Never did I heard her say I love you, never have I heard she say she's proud of me and kapag nagkakaachievement ako sa sch agad nyang sadabihin "Antaas na nilang magbigay ng grades ngayon no?" wala man lang congrats apo?I really tried to reconcile with her kase I want her to notice me naman kahit once. She always fusses about kuya asking kumusta na kaya sya, di ba sya naulanan, pagod ang anak na yon, kawawa sya and all but never checked up on me?Sa palagay mo I'm not suffering too js because I have a complete family?Or you never cared simply because you never bother to see my good side. Naalala ko pa non nakwenro mo saamin na sinabihan akong loving ni great-grandma tapos SINABI MO PA TALAGA SA AMIN NA "SYEMPRE AKO NAMAN NEGATIVE-" AND PROCEED TO SAY NEGATUVE THINGS LIKE YOU NEVER SEEN ANYTHING GOOD ON ME?Ganon lang ba talaga ako sayo apo?Hanggang ganon nalang tingin mo saakin?Ano bang nagawa kong masama bakit ganoon nalang ang trato mo saakin. Yes you ptovidr for us, buys us good clothes, providing for us when in need PERO WERE YOU REALLY TRIED TO CONNEXT WITH ME?Did you ever even really knew all about me kesa tingin ng tingin sa mga maling ginawa ko ja IT WAS NEVER REALLY DEEP TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THIS. Ikaw na nga lang ang grand parents ko sa father side yet to l're making me feel unworthy to even love you. Dad says you love me pero did you ever really did?You never even knew what I'm interested and never cared about knowing. You never did

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Ana Home May 13, 2025 at 8:15 am 0 0