Moving mess

Hi,
I just needed to rant because I feel like a jerk at the moment and I hope writing will get me some perspective. My sister and I recently moved out of our parents’ house. The two of us barely earn a living so it was a good compromise to find a cheap rent together. We both work part-time and I’ll soon be getting more hours and she will go from a temp position to permanent in her own job.
We moved in our new home barely a month ago and lived without hot water since. The landlord cannot help as repairs would be too expensive for them at the moment. As time goes on, problems with the house are becoming more and more apparent. So my sister and I decided to find a more expensive rental but with less issues (hopefully). So far so good but the problem is, she got a new boyfriend. He’s sweet and I honestly have nothing against him.
My problem is that my sister is thinking about moving in with him within a few months, should the relationship last. I am genuinely happy for her but I also feel like she just doesn’t care that her leaving puts me in a very difficult position. Off all the times to choose to make herself a priority, it had to be when we’re both impacted by this decision and not a few more months down the line when the situation would have been more stable for us both. I wouldn’t be able to afford rent with my current salary, I have no savings and the promise of more hours at my job is only verbal at the moment, it’s not set in stone. Meaning I would have to move back to my parents if she leaves. After barely having left a few months.
Small thing but going back would be impossible as my relationship with my mother is broken (she is an incredibly toxic individual and keeps everyone around her unhappy because she is unhappy). I’m trying to pick up another job but I have found nothing so far and now with this, I feel stuck.
I’m angry at her that she would decide after only one month in her new relationship to go and leave me to deal with the situation in my own when the rental was her idea to begin with. I’m disappointed she chose her boyfriend over securing our situation and I’m furious at myself for feeling this way. I know she can be happy with her new boyfriend. I just wish it had been under different circumstances and that I wouldn’t find myself stranded because of it. It’s like she doesn’t care at all if I have to go back to square one should she ever move in with her boyfriend. I know she cares a lot, she has a lot on her plate, she even had a recent breakdown over it but did she have to reach this decision now of all times ? She suggested at some point that we bought a house together and be done with it but then changed her mind in favor of doing so with her boyfriend (once more should their relationship last). I feel tossed aside in favor of this new shiny relationship that comes without any baggage and no issue on his side while I’m supposed to deal with depression, money issue and loneliness all of a sudden. And once again, all this has me feeling like a total jerk.
If I had known it would have been this way, I wouldn’t have moved out of my parents’. I would have endured my mother until I got more stability and then left after one more year or two. But no, now I’m stuck like that, with a sister enjoying her boyfriend, hoping for her happily ever after (which she honestly deserves) and leaving me to drown.
There, my rant is over. Thanks for taking the time to read. I wish you the best.

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X Relationships March 09, 2025 at 11:01 am 0 0