I am going to see the new Naked Gun tomorrow. I am so confident that my (legal) scheme will work that I'm bragging about it here.
I plan to get McDonald's and other white trash foods and sneak them into the movie so I can eat while I watch it. Fuck paying $15 for a small popcorn and ice ridden drink. Im going to have a feast and it'll be around $12.
Here's how I'm gonna do it
The two McDonald's burgers I'm getting will go into my back pockets. One burger for each ass cheek.
Then I'll put as many Little Debbie Strawberry Shortcakes as I can in my front pocket and in my socks. Gotta remember to wear crew cut socks.
Then for my drink I'm going to stuff it into my right pocket which should work unless someone looks down and sees the bulge and asks if I've got a Pepsi in my pocket or if they're just glad to see them.
I'll have to carry my car keys and wallet by hand. Then in the theater room it's on. I get my shit out and likely eat it all before the movie begins. I did this during the most recent Ghostbusters movie and got away with it. Same with Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. I remembered I had to piss like a motherfucker by the end of that one tho.
Who knows maybe I'll get a Slim Jim too.
Fuck you movie po po I'm going to do this. Or I might just get Chilis take out and watch something at home. Either way I'm eating like a king.
anonymousFunny July 31, 2025 at 8:41 pm00
Rant Tags
Get Social and Share