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lost

im so confused. my thoughts are so scattered. am i just stupid? i cant solve my friends' or boyfriends problems. i feel so useless. they help me whenever i need it but i cant help them. how are they even sticking around? why do they do so much for me? my bf is worried abt anyone rlly cares, how bad of a gf am i if i make my boy feel like that? through such a long relationship, i havent been able to make him feel secure. he deserves it, he's been hurt so many times. he deserves love and he deserves to be happy. how do i give him the security he needs? how do i help him love himself more? at sch, they all come to see me, they're excited to see me. i feel valued, i feel needed. but how do i give that to someone else? every time i try, people get hurt. i ask if theyre okay? they cuss me out. i offer a listening ear? "i dont need your help fuck off". i try to let them know im here if they need me? "who the fuck needs you to listen". i can never make enough time for my boy. he asks me if i can vc, i agree. i agree and we call for 5-6 hours. but if i try to do something else in the call, like multitask, that's me being neglectful. "yk he might get hurt right? you should give him more attention. maybe then he'll like you more" i'm trying. i really am. an attempt hasnt even given me any closure. i thought maybe that would give me direction, i could either die or maybe be enlightened in some magical mysterious way lmao. i dont know what i was expecting tbh, killing myself would only hurt others around me and i dont have a reason to. i'm just "seeking for attention", like always. i don't want attention. i don't want to be in the spotlight like i always am. i'm grateful for the people that love me, but i wish i just didnt need to interact with anyone, i wish i didnt have any attachments. i wish everyone would forget about me. i dont deserve to be remembered. i don't expect anyone to read this or give me advice like loads of other rants on here. im just lost. i dont know what i want to do with myself.
anonymous School January 25, 2023 at 2:41 pm 0
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2 Rant Comments
uh

1. it's not your job to solve anyone's problems but your own. you can try to help people, but never try to solve someone's problem.
2. your friends keep you around because they're good friends, and im sure you are too. you try don't you? you care for them, you don't have to do everything for people just to be valuable.

just reassure them you care, and you can't always help as much as you'd like to.
anonymous 1 week ago
^^ Anon speaks well.. always all the best.
Pilgrim 1 week ago
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