im stuck

i feel so stuck in life right now, with everything. i graduate highschool in 4 days, and although I technically finished high school in February, I still have no idea what the fuck I'm doing with my life. I've gotten into multiple schools but I feel as though school just isn't my thing. i literally rushed the end of my senior year so that I didn't have to go anymore. its not even that I'm lazy or not smart. I'm an all-As student and I have a great work ethic, it just made me so unbelievably anxious every day I had to go. i honestly couldn't tell you why. i don't really have anything that I could study that calls to me. i don't have many interests that I can actually go to school for. i love music, but I'm not trained. i only know the basics and I fear if I go to school for music ill be lost and a lot less advanced than my peers. i don't have a boyfriend, or anyone to truly love me. i hate this generation and how every man I like turns out to be awful. and its not like I don't have people interested in me, they just cant give me the love that I yearn for. i have one friend, and I love her to death but she makes me hate myself. the longer we've been friends the more she says negative tings towards me, even if its a joke. just hurts my feelings. not to mention she has a boyfriend so I kind of get pushed to the side. even if I've been here longer. i know I may sound weird or jealous, and I am. i envy what they have and I guess that's why I get even more upset when she constantly talks about him or blows off plans with me to go see him instead. i don't know, I feel hopeless. like I don't even want to be awake anymore. i don't want to die, but like I just wish I could sleep for a few months.

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gb Other May 18, 2025 at 9:14 pm 0 0