I love my mom to death but it’s killing me

I’m a 21yr old(F) with T1 Diabetes and I’m married to a 22yr old(M). We’ve been together 4yrs and married for almost a year. My mother is an off and on again alcoholic. She didn’t like my husband when we starting seeing each other. She made a big scene, called me a whore for sitting too close to him on the couch. My mother has always been shady and you couldn’t always count on her to help or make you feel better. I thought it was best you know this before I start.
I was at my mother’s apartment during my first DKA as an adult (age 19). She made my husband (only fiancé atp) leave work and take me 3 counties away to hospital instead of her taking me. I was there for almost a week and since I wasn’t married yet my husband couldn’t stay the night with me. As you can see where this might be going, I called my mom to come stay so I’m not alone. She agrees and tells me she’s coming and even calls into her work place so she could come. Two hours later and me constantly telling the nurses that I promise my mom will be here any second, she tells me she’s not coming. Her workplace atp was also my husband’s, so they call him ask him if she’s there. Ofc he says no and they told him they were firing my mother. I felt as if that was my fault. The day before I left the hospital, she did the same thing all over again. I honestly don’t think I can ever forgive her for that. I was literally dying and she couldn’t drive a hour to see me. I was already stressed so badly and then I somehow got her fired from her job. She’s been doing things kinda like that for as long as I can think of. She also likes to take everything and threaten for the things she doesn’t have. I will admit this most recent fight was some fault of my husband’s but my mother took it too far. I wanted to come see my mom today while he was working. She tells me no and that she’s pissed off at me for not renewing her tv streaming services(with our own money). He had told her yesterday that he would, but later that night I found out that he didn’t. He had only cash and was going to put his cash on his card on his way to work the next day(now today). I told him to tell her and he did but in a way I didn’t think my mother would understand. I didn’t see the actual text until this morning. My husband always has the weirdest ways of saying things but he always gets the job done. She starts to fight with me while I’m trying to explain what’s going on. Things start escalating and now I’m arguing with him. He keeps apologizing and left to go do it. Then I get a text from my mother. I’m going to copy and paste it. You read it and take it how you want, because I don’t know how to take it.
“Sorry too many Klonopin here for me to deal with drama I love you see you in a few days”
Is my mother really implying she’s going to take a whole bunch of pills because of her tv streaming services got paid a day late? Or am I overthinking or taking this too literal? My mom has threatened suicide before but only to get her way if that makes sense. To explain a bit, she doesn’t ever do anything or has any history of attempts or self harm. I personally think she does this to scare us into giving her what she wants. Of course I always end up giving her what she wants and then she’s completely fine afterwards like she won’t ever bring up suicide again until she wants something she can’t have again. My husband is tired of her and is tired of seeing my lose sleep and sob over her. I think it’s causing a strain in our marriage. I always feel bad for my mom because of the things my dad did to her while they were together but I’m starting to think she’s dragging this out for a pity party just like everything else. She uses my diabetes for her pity parties and that she watched her great grandmother take her last breath, things like that she loves to bring up for pity. I know that sounded like I don’t have empathy but then she turns around and uses the same thing that she wanted pity for and uses it against you. With my diabetes(during a fight), she would say it’s always my fault my health is the way it is(it’s been actually getting better since I moved away from her at age 16). With the whole great grandma thing (during her and my grandma fighting), she told my grandma that (my grandma’s grandma) she didn’t pass away peacefully, that she was struggling gasping for air. My mom knows exactly what to say and do to hurt people down to their core. I’m sorry that this rant is all over the place. The moral of the story; I love my mom to death, but it’s actually killing me…

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anonymous Relationships March 17, 2025 at 3:46 pm 0 0