Online Dating Anonymous

Hello, my name is (screeching sound from Kill Bill when she tries to say her name) and I'm an online dater.

Hi, (screech).

I have been using online dating apps off and on for about the last year and a half, but often for about the past six months. The reason I did it, was because I wanted to actually find someone who I could have a loving connection with.

There had been this deep void within me for over a decade. It started when I began to grow uncertain of my first love and if she really cared. I thought finding "love" was the solution. With enough reflection, I finally came to understand what it was.

My family never loved me. My situation with my first love was the closest I ever came to real love from another person. So, it was like, to make it right, I thought I needed to find someone. What I really needed to do was grieve that there was no fixing that part of my past. I may find a relationship some day, but it's not going to give me what I so desperately needed in my formative years. Since understanding and grieving that, the void is gone, and the grief lessens whenever this subject comes to mind.

Now, I find myself really disinterested in online dating. I'm not going to meet anyone this way. Most of the people on there don't even know what they want, and just think a boy/girlfriend will make up for their lack of character. I thought it'd fill a void that NO ONE not even my first love would have been able to fill. And upon finally working past that, I'm just thinking like what the hell am I doing on the app?

So, I'll likely deactivate my account. It's just nice walking around without that fucking void that I really never thought I'd get over.

.......Thanks for sharing...Anyone else?

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anonymous Dating March 18, 2025 at 3:18 am 0 0