i hate this

I hate this family so much like what could i have done so bad in the past that I was given a family like this. Why cant i just have a normal family why cant i just have a family like others a loving, sweet, soft spoken type of family. Why was i given like this. If everything happens for a reason what is the reason why this happens to me???? Blood is not thicker than water because why do random people why does my friends feel like home than this stupid ass fucking family. This family reallyr eally sucks like if i kill myself i will be writing a letter of how they have affected me and how if i did actually kill myself they will be the reason. They are the reaosn why i am like this, they are the reason why i want to kms everyday they are the reason why my life has suffered. Ever since elementary ive suffered so much, they say "everything will get better soon" but when is this soon gonna happen to me??? when is this soon about to start becase to me it feels like it is never gonna start in my life. Do i really have to live with them all day all night everyday in my life??? Why was i chosen to be in this family when all i wanted to be in understood. Why did they have to hit me so much when all i wanted was to be understood and to explain. How can they not understand and see the signs of depressions with me. Will they only feel bad when they see my dead body getting buried 6 feet below? Will they only feel the guilt when i am no longer there. Will they only ask for forgiveness when i am no long there??? Will they only realize what theyve done when they see an empty bedroom Will they only see the effects of what they did to me when im hanging from the ceilling lifeless?

Why do i have a grandma like this, everyones grandma seems so sweet and lovable why is mine the exact opposite i never felt her love or care at all. I never felt that she actually wanted me in her life. She acts like im the greatest curse this family has ever expirienced in life. Am i really the curse is my existence a curse. Why does she always shout at me and release her anger at me when i actually have not done anything to her. Growing up i never really liked her, shes the last person i want to be with but i am with her everyday. Everyday seems like a living hell for me, will life even be worst than this? Will life even be better than this. Why does she never understand me and why i do this, why can she just never hear me out on why i am like this, why does she always just believe everything that she wants to believe why when it comes to me everyone seems to be deaf about me. They tell me to go to them when everything feels heavy or when i need something but when i approach them why do they get mad when i approach them why do they hate me so much. I am that unlovable that they do not even try to love me. Why do they never understand me why is it always my fault why why why do i expirienec this/ What will this make me in the future. When i hang myself i hope they know that everything will be their fault EVERYTHING WILL BE THEM TO BLAME.

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yay Home October 19, 2024 at 12:20 am 0 0