I hate myself

I hate myself, I don’t know what to do. I’m so tired of everything, I wanna die. I hate living, and my depression, and the struggle of trying to live as a trans person in an environment where everyone is not supportive, is annoying. I’m young, I don’t know what to do, nobody taught me how to react to such situations.
Ive been thinking of offing myself for the last 3 years, I don’t think I’m gonna make it. The world is horrible, I don’t wanna see the future. I’ve always wanted to be a doctor, since I was 8, but now I just wanna be a dead body. I wonder how my family or friends will react, but I don’t care, because I will no longer be here, probably. I’ll try to go to a psychologist, though I don’t think itll work, mental health in my country is shitty as hell, they don’t care. Only person I ever felt comfortable with was with my school counselor, but she left the school a couple years ago. My family kinda tried to help me, but I felt like I was getting scolded. “Whyd you hurt yourself? Do you have any valid reason of why?!” Yes I do, but I don’t wanna tell you, because all I hear when I speak up, is “youre just confused” or “it’s just a phase”. And so what? What if it is a phase? I’m feeling bad right now, I couldnt care less if it’s a phase or not, I want help. What if im just confused? Shouldnt I still get help? It’s so confusing. I hope everything ends soon. Depression is horrible, I hate myself. And I hate everything. Even going to concerts is lame, playing my favorite games is boring, and even standing up is tiring. I hope it’s just a phase, and that it goes away. But I also hope I can die, so I go away.

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anonymous Body February 03, 2026 at 8:07 pm 0 0