I dont know what to rant abou but i need to rant

Its awfull. A rut, i dont know where i would be without my friends, i do what they invite me to do with them and its satisfying and than i come home and i dont have anything to do with my time i sleep all day i have things to clean and tidy up. I dont want to, im not well it cant go forward as if its ok, maybe fuck you to the voice that sais do it anyway. Do it anyway regardless of anything. FUCK YOU. I dont want to. Although it pulls me to do it. Something calls me to do it inspite of it all. But there is still a will to scream FUCK YOU into the void. I hate this all that i have to doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Fucking shittt. Howwwww do i get here again and again and again and i get out again and again and again. Why do i have to fall from grace constantly and every time i make it out i make a promise i wont return here ever again? As if it matters do it anyway fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hate you, i fucking hate you i hate this shitt. Feels better. I have to continue and by continuing i have ti a cept what i dont want so a rut it is. Im protesting. And again it will turn out to be my own stupidity. Have i not done as best as i could? If i have is this failure my fault? Is it even a failure im good by most metrics i can think of, im better than i ever was. How is it when i hang out with my friends i say im good when they ask how i am and i hang out as if all of this is not here, and wont be here 5 hours from now at my job after a sleepless night, anf it really wont be here untill i get to be again by my self.

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anonymous Other April 14, 2025 at 10:09 pm 0 0