Heartbreak is so unfair

I (25F) am not saying I was perfect. But even if I could go back and fix my mistakes, I still would have been cheated on, he still would have stopped listening to me and let his friends convince him of shit about me, still would have let himself have feelings for one of his friends and not even bothered to work with me to fight for us. I am not mad that he needed to figure out that he wasn’t straight, we probably would have still lost what we had. But I DESERVED for him to have fought with me for us. I was immediately ready to forgive him and work it out when he told me about what was cheating. But he’d already given up before even talking to me. FIVE YEARS AND HE DIDNT EVEN TRY. He just let go and felt bad. I’m mad that he gets to live out his dreams that he said I would be part of with some guy who played nice but wanted me gone from the start. HES THE ONE WHO CHANGED, LIED, GAVE UP, CHEATED, and DIDNT BOTHER, yet I’M the one who gets the trauma.

At this point, I’ve accepted it all, I have done nothing but encourage myself to just keep moving, that I can find someone better, that I’m worth SO MUCH MORE.
I’ve been on dates without looking back. But as soon as someone starts being good to me, I freeze up. I am not afraid to love someone else, I’m afraid of someone falling in love with me. I’m afraid of being treasured because I’m afraid of the sudden switch of “we’ll get through anything because I will always love you.” To “people change.” Happening again. And I’m SICK of being heartbroken, I’m TIRED of him still being in my head and missing what we had. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Some of the dates I have been on haven’t helped either. It felt like as soon as I tried to show genuine interest they back pedaled and said I was just friend even though THEY came on to ME.


I feel so lost and helpless. I think that my next step of healing is letting myself be in a new relationship. But I don’t want a rebound, and if they’re good to me theres a reason we’re not compatible, and if I do see compatibility and I do want see where things go then they turn around. I can’t win and I hate it. I don’t want to settle, but I want to give chances, but I’m not going to force anything in myself, idk what to do.

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anonymous Relationships April 25, 2025 at 3:35 am 0 1