Hate my roomates!

I am SO SO sick of my roommates! I might as well have just moved back in with my parents and not had to pay rent at all!

I rent a room in a home, with four other people, that was my first mistake. My second mistake was that they are ALL Boomers, and apparently very close friends who do everything together. My third mistake was signing a year lease.

I rented because I moved back to my home town recently, but obviously didn't want to move back in with my parents. I found this place, and it is a good deal for what I pay, utilities included, laundry and kitchen, and large back yard for my dog. So close to where I work, that I can see the building from back porch and can walk on good days. There is also a community pool, park, dog park, and work out room! That is all very nice for $1,000 a month...besides the fact the people I live with, treat me as if I am a family member who is crashing on their sofa, rather than JUST a roommate with my own room and bathroom, independent from them as people, who are simply people I rent with in the same home. It shouldn't function much different than an apartment in that sense.

The first few weeks were, okay, what I thought was an adjustment. They wanted to get to know me, which is fine. I got to know them too, and that is important. We had lunch together a few times to learn more about one another, and so all of our dogs could get used to living together and being around all of us, and the other dogs as well. The landlord (owner of the house) was there, went over HIS rules and expectations, then we all talked about our personal laundry days, which space in the fridge and in the cabinets were ours. How we are all responsible rotating schedule to take the garbage in the kitchen and living room out, and of course, responsible for own room and bathroom garbage. We went over having guests over, and not being "loud" coming and out at night. Then shown where we can park. All reasonable and normal things living in a shared home with people.

However, it's been since February now, and has reached an insufferable point living with these people!

I can't go be in my room, alone with my door closed without each of them taking turns coming to my door and OPENING it, asking, "Do you ever come out of your room?" and "What do you do in here all day?" and "You need come sit outside on that nice patio!" then reminding me how "We live near two parks and a trail...you NEED to take your dog there for a walk. You both could use some Sun..." and then reminding me of all the stuff our community offers that I "NEED" to be doing. It is a constant barrage of SHIT like this, all day. Always with the TELLING me what I "need" to do, not suggesting, or asking, TELLING me.

If I go anywhere, they watch me leave with narrowed eyes, expecting an explanation. If I get halfway down the stairs without giving one, I hear, "Okay....guess he's not talking to us."

Umm??? I am not required to tell my roommates where I am going! When I get back home, it is this constant awkward, tense feeling for the rest of the day. If I have friends outside of them, or really, if I do ANYTHING, at all. I am made to feel like I am somehow being rude and inconsiderate of their time, I can't explain it entirely, but it is the this vibe they project that I should be hanging out with them, and them only. They always go on about, "You could come sit with us and have some wine and watch TV!" or "Come hang out with us on the patio! you don't need to be going out!"


If I get up at night, to actually watch TV, (because they all four SIT there all day and hog it watching re-runs of The Connors and OLD ER from the 90's) then one of them comes out to remind me what time it is. The first time this occurred, I apologized, assuming it was because the TV was too loud. So, I turned it down as low as I could and put captions on. Then, another one of them came out, "It is late late late!" So, I gave up, turned the TV off, and went back to my room.

The next day, I asked if I missed something in the rental agreement stating that the TV has to be shut-down at a certain time, and they said, "No, it is just that it was so late and you were up...so it was concerning." I no longer watch TV, ever, besides in my room. Now, God forbid they see the glow of my TV, because they come to my door OPEN it, and , "It is really late, you're up watching TV??" same thing if they hear me clicking away on my computer! Then, they say, "You need to go to bed. You're sitting there falling asleep in your chair!"

1.) I am NOT falling asleep in my chair
2.) So fuckin' what if I am???
3.) Don't come in my damn room!

And yes, they just walk in my room. No knock. No asking. No ****. Just pushing open the door, the very same way my parents used to do until I was fourteen years old and lost my shit on them one day about it, and they stopped!

On my days off, if I sleep during the day, they take turns coming in to remind of what time it is, and how long I've been sleeping. If I make food in the kitchen, one of them the next day, "You were up making food in the middle of the night last night? You don't eat dinner at a normal time?" or if I am making food, while they are in the other room watching TV, it is quiet comments about, "Never realized how loud a microwave was!" or "I really hate the smell of other people's food cooking. I don't know why, I just always have!"

But they won't say it TO me, they just say it out loud in a passive-aggressive way. So, I've taken to not making food if they are awake, and either just dealing with being hungry, going to my parents now and then, or going out to get something. Which, I have to eat at the restaurant or in my car, because I can't bring food back. The times I have, they all sit and stare at my bag of whatever I got, then watch me walk halfway to my room. Then I hear "You didn't even ask anyone if they wanted anything from there?" and they are serious. Or I get, "It is a lot cheaper if you eat at home. That is probably wrecking your bank account I'd think." or "We had dinner earlier and invited you, you need to eat with us instead of sneaking out."

Yes, they say "sneaking out", like I am a teenager, going against my parent's wishes and "sneaking" out.

I don't get delivery at all, because TWICE, they told the Doordash driver that they "had the wrong place" and sent them away, then came in to tell me, "Don't have delivery people coming here, it makes the dogs nervous when people we don't know come to the door, and you don't need to be paying all those delivery fees. You have food here."

And that leads me to the next thing they do. Remind me when they think I should be eating. All four of them do everything together, including eating. They sit around, at the table and eat dinner , lunch, and breakfast together. Which is fine. But, me, as an independent person paying to live there as a roommate, I do not join them. I have my own life entirely outside of them, who are JUST my roommates! However, they come in to tell me, "It's dinner time..." and then will SHOUT my name through the house if I don't come out promptly, 'HEY! DINNER TIME!" and they do that if I am home for lunch of breakfast to. Even if I am sleeping, it is "BREAKFAST IS READY!" then it is coming to my room, "HEY!, breakfast is ready lazy bones!" And they shout, "HEY!" exactly how my dad used to when he wanted to get my attention.

BTW, I work nights, until 7am in a SNF, so waking me up at 9am for breakfast, would be equivalent to me going to their room at midnight, slamming open their door, and shouting, "HEY! Lazy bones! Midnight snack time!"

Let me reiterate, that I ensured I was not being noisy and keeping them up when I prepared food at night. I thought that was the problem initially, but it isn't. They just think I need to eat with them, as if we are a family unit!

They also knew before I even agreed to move in, that I worked nights in a nursing home, 7pm and 7am, so my days are my nights, so I sleep in the day. They were perfectly understanding of that in the initial meeting. However, after about two months of living there, they now come to my room to tell me, "You can't just sleep all day, you need to get up and do things. You need to get out and get Sun!" and I gently remind them that I JUST got off work and have to go back tonight. The response is then, "So, you have all day off to do stuff...you can come back and sleep a couple of hours before you go in tonight!" and "You need to be taking your dog for walks and hikes in the day. You have the whole day!"

I have tried to explain until I am blue in the face, that my days are my nights, and I can't just get "a couple of hours of sleep" I need eight, just like everyone else in the world, especially after the type of work I do. I don't have the energy to "go out in the Sun" all day after working caring for the infirm elderly all night either! My dog is used to my schedule as well, and sleeps the same hours that I do. I am not neglecting her!

They will nod like they understand, but then, the very next day, it is back to slamming open my door, waking me up, and telling me I need to get out of bed. I have taken to what is basically me going to my parents house anyway, just to sleep at this point! When I do that, I catch hell from my roommates for "being gone all day" and "where did you go after work?' and "you didn't even tell us what your plans were!"

One of the ladies, is by far the worst. We will call her Sue. Sue calls herself a "wanderer" and thus, will walk around the house throughout the day and evening and talk about how "bored" she is. So, all day long you hear Sue meandering around. This is fine, she pays to live there, so if she wants to walk back and forth, she can. However, since the middle of May, her routine, on a daily basis, has now included opening my door, walking in, and sitting ON MY PILE OF LAUNDRY (wtf?) and ...sits there. Yes...squats...on the mountain of dirty clothes, worn scrubs, and damp towels...just sits. I will be at my computer, watching TV, sleeping, eating, on a call...anything, and then she opens the door and says, "I am just doing my daily rounds around the house. Ignore me."

She thinks her "daily rounds" include walking into everyone's room, sitting there for awhile, then leaving....no one else seems to mind this, but I find it to be the most intrusive, bizarre, infuriating, and nerve-racking thing I've ever experienced! This happens multiple times a day now, and you never know when until she's suddenly there. And I hear, "I am just doing bored and walking around...."

Forget me having a friend over, or "companion" (if you catch my drift) or having..errrr.."self" time (if you catch my other drift) because I never know when suddenly my door is going to FLING open, and either Sue is perched atop my soiled laundry, or if one of them are standing in the doorway, "HEY" at me, and bossing me around.

Sue also has opened the door to MY bathroom, and came in TO TAKE A DUMP once, while I was in the tub! MY bathtub in my personal bathroom! She has a room across the house with her own bathroom as well, and then there is a shared bathroom in the hall. However, she was "wandering" and came into my room to sit on the laundry, and then came into the bathroom and said, "I just wanted to see what your bathroom was like and I can't make it back to myself because I have those things!" (by those things I can only assume she meant diarrhea!) I nearly jumped out of my skin and I puled over the shower curtain over as fast as I could to shield myself. Then she opened the toilet lid, pulled her pants down and started TAKING A SHIT in my toilet, while I was BATHING. Then telling me about when she was a kid they didn't even have a bathroom, they shared an outhouse...and she went on and on about THAT. I told her to PLEASE, never use my bathroom again, especially while I am in there, NAKED in the bath. I AM A DUDE! Then it was, "Well, I grew up with a house with two rooms and four brother and two sisters, and my mom and pop, so nothing I ain't ever seen before!" while I set there, in my bath water trapped, smelling this sixty-something year old lady's SHIT splatting in MY toilet. She then wiped her ass, and grabbed the sink, and the RIM of the bathtub to hoist herself up, with hands she just wiped her ass with! She didn't wash her hands at all, just pulled up her pants, flushed (leaving the toilet lid open so the crap water sprayed and drops hit me!) and walked out, touching the door knob!

My entire bath was ruined. I felt perfectly CLEAN, and then she came in and left me with her SHIT stank. I got out, wiped down everything she touched with Lysol wipes, then took a shower! I am still flabbergasted and dismayed weeks later that she ever did something like that! All because she was "wandering" and wanted to "try out" my bathroom.

And yes, I lock my bathroom door now, but I don't DARE lock my bedroom door, or they will stand out there and TWIST and turn the doorknob while shouting, "I know you can hear me...why won't this open?" and then I go to the door, and they are furious I locked it. "Don't lock your door...something might happen and we can't get in!"

To sum it up, these people don't understand boundaries, at all. They don't get hat I am NOT a minor relative living there, that they have to make rules for, help raise, enforce limits, set examples, or be a mentor to.

This isn't even HALF of what I deal with. Most of the time, they are obsessively calling me as well, if I DARE leave and go out and didn't inform them of what I am going to do. It is always a major attempt at a guilt trip for not just staying behind and hanging out with them, or inviting them!

I also recently found out, that one of the lady's, we'll call Beth, is letting her two Shiatzu puppies she recently got, just piss and shit freely on the carpet! They walk around. and squat where they want. I kept finding small wet spots, and dried up turds, or fragments of dog poop stuck in threats of the carpets. I'd step in them leaving at night for work! There are little patches of now yellowing spots, on a light blue shaggy carpet where she lets piss soak in, then tries to clean it with only Windex. Not even carpet cleaner or disinfectant! Just window cleaner! There is no reason for it, they are not simple accidents. She is not making ONE attempt to train them to use the doggy door, at all. She just says ,"Well, I clean it up when they go! I don't have the energy to train them, but they are fine. they don't go much."

No one but me seems to care about that either. So much for walking around barefoot! And no, she doesn't clean it. Spraying Windex on it and not even scrubbing is NOT cleaning it, and picking up the little turds, but leaving some smeared to dry and crust into the rug or carpet, is not cleaning it. She also isn't catching it single time they do it, that's impossible because there are two of them, and they go constantly. All down the hall where there isn't carpet, is puddles and dried fragment of dog crap smeared too, some drying up where she refuses to do more than half-assed pick up the dookie, and then just spray Windex on the urine!

The house is beginning to smell like urine and dog shit so bad you can hardly walk in! I have sent an email to our landlord about it, IDGAF. I am at my wit's end! I am tired of living in what is beginning to smell and feel like a kennel! I am afraid to walk anywhere!

My lease is one year, and I am prepared to break that lease and look for something else. My parents offered to let me move in with them, and considering that I can get the same treatment from them rent free, minus the dog piss and shit, and coming into my bathroom to take a dump while I am bathing, I am considering it!

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Fed Up! Home August 11, 2025 at 4:54 pm 0 0