going thru teenage despair

I just realized I suck at like everything. And not the "haha ugh I suck" like I'm actually terrible. I used to be actually talented. I started using complex words as a child, got fluent in English at 10 yrs old even though all my English lessons got replaced to help our teacher with stuff, i was a great singer and after I did my first and only performance multiple parents (from different schools and everything) noticed me and came up to me to tell me I was great and should go to the choir (there were multiple performances and it was an acting contest for 1-6th graders, i was in 3rd or 4th). I was also really athletic and did multiple performances in the circus. I'm now a teen and like most people my age I'm just realizing that I should've done something with that talent while I was still that young. I should've picked up a Latin language or go to singing lessons or kept on going to sport activities. I feel like I didn't invest enough and my talent is starting to fade. My best ever grade in Spanish was a 3 (or C) and that was at my peak and I'm now failing. I still sing along to my favorite song but I'm always out of pitch and my voice Breaks all the time. I can barely do 10 push ups. I had an official IQ evaluation at 11 and it was 128-151. I was really fucking talented. But I was also a thickheaded little kid that just wanted to sit inside and do nothing. I know I'm still in the age range to study enough to land a decent job, but nothing special. I will never be able to be a singer or athlete or something like that even though life gave me so many chances. I'm now just another depressed anemic ADHD autism teen that doesn't even have the motivation to watch an anime EVEN THOUGH THATS BEEN THE ONLY THING IVE ENJOYED FOR YEARS. I'm falling behind even though I had a head start and the only thing I'm doing is pathetically crying myself to sleep.

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S Other June 03, 2025 at 4:26 pm 0 1