Fuck Strong Pattern Recognition Skills

Shits bullshit man. You lose your mind even kinda and you can quickly become like that dude from It's Always Sunny putting I can only assume are ridiculous things together. The worst part is when it works. Like with my old apartment's utility bill. That breakdown was mostly accurate, except since I didn't know current rates it looked a lot worse than it was.

But you lose your mind because people are assholes and that shit quickly fucks with your head. Before you realize it you see shit that can't be true. Patterns that are consistent af, but can't be any more real than alien abductions or big foot. I already don't like or trust anyone. Ever. There is no talking through it.

"You don't know me"
"That's not fair"

Could say the same in many experiences of my life, it didn't matter. I'm supposed to ditch every pattern I've come across every time though because it'd be more convenient for you. Except, for of course, the positive ones that are in your favor. Because that's totally objective and makes total sense.

That or you're supposed to slow down and ground yourself accepting you'll be stuck at a dead-end for the rest of your short, miserable existence. Real helpful. Fuck this shit. Fuck everything.

Can't even stay awake for more than a few hours anyway and because my shoulder is weak af I can't sleep in a comfortable way either. IDK how the fuck I got 4 hours of work done this weekend. No fucking wonder I can't keep a job. People think shits a joke but it's fucking impossible to stay awake when I'm not around you people. You people are exhausting. Everything's a fucking joke to you people. Even my fucked up nervous system that I'm constantly trying to regulate with ways I was taught in therapy.

Shits never fucking ending. Then all the patterns and shit fucking with my head. When the fuck does this shit actually fucking end? When the fuck does mental illness awareness become more than being simply aware mental illness is a fucking problem? When does the solution become more than trying to solve a ton of medication and therapy down someone's throat? Nurses will tell you that doesn't work because the "patient" won't accept the treatment. It doesn't. Ever. It's on the patient to find the right patterns to convince themselves that life will magically get better, even if it won't. That all the performative bullshit isn't just performative. That all the bullshit you constantly read or hear isn't bullshit because it might be true in some country you may never go to or someone you'll never come across may actually help someone in that way.

Obviously not helpful at all. As helpful as trying to make your ears pop to reset your nervous system. Just an example of some of the amazing therapy you get from licensed therapists that Feminists treat as a deity. Shits worse and more retarded than the Industrial Priests of John Trudell's era.

Whatever. I've nearly died enough times to know there's nothing to worry about. Well, except for survival from a botched suicide attempt. Having to shit in a bed pan, use a catheter to piss, and rely on people in a wheelchair is worse than any sort of nightmare or vision of Hell I've ever had. Going through that at 6 makes Dante's Inferno feel like a damn nursery rhyme and Dostoyvesky light reading. I read Crime and Punishment and The Inferno, with guides, to prep for my GED.

Fucking people don't know how good they've got it, but constantly want to pretend their lives are harder than they are. Wouldn't be a problem if people weren't constantly acting like they're pure and righteous making more rancid dumps than my ex likely on meth. Lmao she asked for an air freshener. Wondered why she left that door open, and learned why real quickly. She wanted to die too, but not on the shitter from inhaling her own fumes. Guess I couldn't blame her there. That would be a terrible way to go out, but fucking hilarious all the same. I can only imagine Tim Armstrong would be proud of how fucking terribly Rancid that shit was.

Anyway, my bad. You can go back to mocking the mentally ill now, especially when it's due to stuff like PTSD that doesn't occur in a vacuum. You can go back to pretending your deities the LMSWs and LPCs who need therapy themselves to deal with people like me have all the answers. Unlike God you can prove they exist, so that must be true right? They exist, they're highly educated and fully licensed, therefore they have all the answers. Prove me or the argument wrong. The premises are facts so good luck with that. Sorry it's not more convenient for feminists. After all, what good is equality or anything else if it's not convenient for feminists?

---

anonymous Other March 02, 2026 at 9:00 am 0 0