Talking is Boring

Seriously, I rarely give a fuck what anyone thinks anymore. Not because I'm god's gift to the world, but because they always talk about the same bullshit. I fucking hate AI and Machine Learning. I picked it similar to how and why I picked up Chess. I got into a lot of fights in school, like once a week. They were often severe too so by fifth grade I was full time SPED. They took away my lunch with normal people because I beat the shit out of a well known bully. Fucking dumbass took my invitation to put his hands on me. Fucking dumbass had tears streaming down his face as the teachers came. Bro had been bullying me for weeks and no one gave a damn. When I finally had enough of his shit I apparently took it too far. Fuck him. Fuck Brian. Fucking pussy.

That's why I took up AI and programming and shit. To get away from everyone. When I dropped out of HS I needed a way to learn the basic shit. I'd meet people who'd claim to know shit in chatrooms, but when it was clear they didn't know shit I'd move on. Especially when they'd end up telling me I need to talk to people more and go outside. Fuck that. Fuck them. Just a bunch of assholes looking for a fight and to be a victim when they lose out there.

So it took a while, but eventually I found a shitty book on PHP. From there I managed to find free Java resources and so on. Keep in mind when I started programming Reddit didn't exist yet so resources for this shit were sparse and usually garbage. I kept chugging along though because the nice thing about programming is that you're either right or wrong. Either people know the solution to your problem and probably shared an answer nowadays, you can approach it differently, or you can let that idea fuck off and die. No need for human interaction. It's fucking great.

Couldn't ask for help anyway cause all I'd hear is how I'm the only person wrong, ever. How I should bow down to my supreme overlords and hope they'll forgive me for not looking like them. How I needed to avoid people even more than I already do, which is at the greatest extent possible. It even was that back. Shit, my dad's GF hated me because I'd count how many WORDS I said to her in a day and tried to keep it under 5. Whether or not she knew it was a little game that we played that I was great at. At one point I got real damn good at it and my reward was my Dad kicking me out of his house.

So anyway, talking to people is fucking boring. If they're wrong they'll just loud and defensive and won't let shit go. If they're right it isn't really any different but they're abusive in a different way. So I just tell people what they want to hear so they'll fuck off. You think AI Is gonna be sentient? LMAO, okay. Fine. It will be. Leave me the fuck alone. You think North Korea is a bigger threat than Russia or China cause technology? Fine. Cool. I don't give a fuck. I especially don't give a fuck about geopolitics. The Don or whoever will level their nerds with the full backing of the Military Industrial Complex.

I don't have any fucking goals or dreams or shit anyway. I grew up legitimately fucking poor. I watched a dude damn near kill my dad with an axe because his daughter was a prostitute. Saw a lot of drunken fighting. Saw my mom have to call the cops when I was too young to do anything at all because of drunk dudes. Had to beat the shit out of people who'd bully me for every reason under the sun, and deal with girls who thought they could fix me by "being nice." Fuck you too. Watched damn near everyone I grew up become zombies because of drugs, die, or become felons. There isn't a single person I'm aware of who falls into a different bucket.

And yet so many people fucking lie about understanding poverty and claim low playing employers are out here paying OT and shit. Their managers either probably don't have the hours for OT even if they don't pay shit or they don't care. If you honestly think you're getting enough hours to bring home a check almost big enough to work at some shitty minimum wage job, or think you even have a shot then you've got a romanticized view of the world I don't want to fucking hear. If you're not hot that shit would take me so much fucking alcohol to sit though that I'd probably end up throwing in your lap.

Because not even Gabapentin makes you or your opinions tolerable. Lots of alcohol does though. It's gotta be enough to make land whales attractive and completely kill any chance of me hearing what you're trying to say though. Anything less isn't enough. I'm too poor to drink like that anything though. Those tabs were always like $100-$200+. It'd be nice to live like that. So fucking drunk that I can't think clearly or hear what anyone thinks or cares about. It's funny too because people will cheer you on when you drink like that. So we both agree it's the best outcome for all of us. It's the one time people are right about anything.

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anonymous Other March 02, 2026 at 2:40 am 0 0