Friend issues

So, the issue is with my friend/roommate. We see each other a lot but also never. We live together, work on different shifts at the same place and are in a band together.

At first when we became roommates it was going great, when I did almost everything. Now I've had to slow down due to a mix of physical and mental health reasons, but I still do a majority of the cleaning, taking out the bottles, taking out the trash, and shopping. And they have noticed.

The issue is work. To be honest it's a shithole, and people are leaving, she wants to leave, I can't because i don"t have savings or family on the country to fall back on if things fo awry. So i have to stay to make sure the bills are paid, and we can eat. But because they aren't letting her walk away easily, and our country's policies on just quitting are shite, she's trying to break the contract and it's not going well and that's making her irritated and angry. She's taking it out on me. A lot. And I have put up with it with grace and understanding for the past 2 months, but I am so tired of it.

It came to a head today when she wanted me to go shopping this morning, when I start work after lunch, because she didn't go out this afternoon. She's angry I didn't do it because my depression is back, and with the heat and antihistamines I have to take, I have been sleeping about 10 hours a night, and because of my shift work my internal clock is set to sleep between 1 and 2 am. So I wake up at 12, have to have a quick brunch, get ready for my day and take the bus into town.

I haven't told her any of this because I do genuinely like her, and can't wait for her to quit this shithole of a job so I have my friend back. But I'm tired of being her personal punching bag, and feeling like shit if I don't do something because she only got 3 hours of sleep last night (found that out at work), and she doesn't want to go out cause its hot, and now we have no cat litter, etc.....

The idea of seeing her is sending me into a panic, yesterday morning i was so relaxed because I didn't have work and didn't have to see her till early afternoon, cause she was at her parents. I had invited a friend over the day before and my roommate said come later I'll be able to see you.

Next day she doesn't want to see anyone when she get's home. I don't say anything, but say listen my friend is coming over for a few hours. She gets pissy, "we'll eat late cause we don't have enough food to feed more than 2 people" and "I'll just hang out in my room then". She didn't btw, she sat on the couch playing saints row 3 and getting pissy, while me and my friend chatted, them gamed on the switch.

And now it feels like everyone is angry at me and I just wanna scream. Just found out rehearsal is cancelled tonight from another band member. She said she might not even come into work tomorrow and I feel like she has told everyone what a terrible person I am for not doing some fucking shopping this morning, even though I always do the shopping, and the cleaning (which i did this morning before work).

I miss my old friend and I am very tired.

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Skywhale Friends June 23, 2025 at 10:28 am 0 0