Feeling worthless

Ive struggled my whole life with self esteem. I got through the years by being the weird, awkward and sarcastic kid. Getting called peculiar just im clearly different. Get called an enigma cos the psychologist cant seem to figure me out. Feel like a misplaced person roaming the earth. It seems like everyone cant stand me. At work i can feel people purposefully ask someone else a thing they know only i can answer. Dont know why. Nothing new. I try to avoid break rooms at all costs. I dont want to feel like im suffocating anyone at work. The manager even avoids me. I know i have issues with self and anxiety, but i dont know how to ignore it. On top of thst, i have issues of my own. I sweat like crazyand cant control it. No matter how many showers i take. Ive seen a doctor about it and they just disregard it. I dont know. I get super paranoid about people in public. Thats why i dont go to restuarants to eat. Avoid crowded areas. Everywhere i go, can just feel the distance i have with regular people. Just an outcast. I try to push it out of my head and accept things they way it is. But its gotten really hard to ignore these days. I just want to go. Im not interested in relationships, getting married and the so caled happy future. I just want to go.

---

Anonymous Other February 04, 2025 at 1:59 am 0 0