Am I behind?? or it's just FOMO??

If I'm being honest, I only like the idea of dating and relationships. I have only ever kissed and made out with 1 person and held hands twice. My longest relationship was 5 months and he cheated. It's been 5 years since then and I'm 22 now. All the people in my friend group (friends since HS) are already in longer relationships and had been intimate with one or multiple people. It's funny, I was the most gutter minded person back then which was prolly normal for a teenager but I still think I was more deranged than the norm. It's so fucking weird, the nagging feeling that I am completely behind everyone is getting stronger.

The thing is, I'm not that in a rush. I'm a solitary person, I'm into the geeky anime and games stuff. I don't think I'm bad-looking either cause I know I can be in a relationship if I try. I have some anxiety and ADHD but I'm not so awkward so really I can do it, I just don't. However, everyone around me is going so "fast" idk how to explain it. Everyone keeps telling me to just go out, have fun, lower my standards. LOWER MY STANDARDS?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?? I'VE BEEN WITH QUESTIONABLE CREATURES BEFORE AND BE GENUINELY/UNFATHOMABLY INFATUATED WITH THEM (I have never been in love tbh or I got over people quick I have no idea which one either)

This whole thing just pisses me off like why do I feel so fucking pressured but the interest to do those stuff evades me? I am obsessed with otome, and romance stories in media and literature, hell I even write some of those but I just lose interest when the "chase" part is done (fiction and in real life). This is probably an unresolved trauma but really what the fuck do i even do?? Should I try to reclaim my interest in the "real" love and dating stuff or take my time? But I'm also afraid that I'll take too long to do the real stuff when I'm so comfortable just sitting at home gushing over 2D characters and creating my own scenarios. I don't even have a life. My major is so busy, I can't juggle many things at once so I didn't even join any uni organizations, my social battery ain't strong if that's not obvious and taking care of another person, chatting with them everyday and entertaining them is so tedious. I know my worth and I know other people's worth. I don't want to waste other people's time and effort just for me to gain the experience, it's incredibly unfair.

I hate this weird dilemma so much.

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Adrienne Dating December 23, 2024 at 9:21 am 0 1